Dr. Dre is the new face of Dr. Pepper. Let that digest. At one point in the commercial shot at the house party that is always happening in sodaland, he leans into the camera and says, “Trust me. I’m a doctor.” That’s real. Dr. Dre is now a M.D. practicing in and around L.A. area.

I wonder if he does plastic surgery. Wouldn’t it be super cool if he could do my daughter’s boobs? Sweet Six-teen. He is recomending the sweet sugary goodness of Dr. Pepper. Kind of like in the 80s when M.D.s were recommending margarine (what’s transfat?). Let’s just say I was raised on the sweet taste of country crock so I am more than willing to trust Dre on this one and indulge in some Dr. Pepper as well as cannabis which the Dr. is also an advocate of. 

In other news, I’m thinking of adding a prefix and or suffix to my name. M.B.A. always had a nice ring to it…so does _____________ attorney at law. I could have my own commercial too and appeal to recently disabled people who I’ll offer to evaluate cases for, only for the low low price of one social security check per hour of my valuable professional time.

Meritocracy’s fun. Rich people are ethical. Everything you see is real. Dr. Dre is a now Dr. Dre M.D. and I have to run out to the store for some Dr. Pepper, spam (Y2K, come back!), weed, and paper I can print law school diplomas on. J.D. here I come.