Trenton(ian) Makes, the World Takes yet again.

By JOE D’AQUILA
Staff Writer

BRISTOL, Pa. — “Firefighters rescued a woman who drove her car off a pier and into the Delaware River yesterday morning, then spent the rest of the day trying to locate and remove the vehicle from the water.”

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To spare you every mundane and twisted detail of this Wives Gone Wild ordeal, here are some Hilarious highlights from this Front Page article:

- “Police have not said officially whether the incident was accidental or intentional, but officials on the scene said it appeared the woman had been distraught after a fight with her husband.

Police have not identified the woman, but she was said to be 23 years old.”

- “Firefighters were dispatched to the area on an unrelated fire call and discovered the broken railing and a car floating downriver.” [Ah, the beauty of coincidence. This must’ve been one of those “right place right time, right river right night” kind of ordeals]

- “Once the woman was safe, the next mission for rescuers was to fish her vehicle out of the drink.” [This is a direct quote.  I’m not kidding.  Re-read this sentence over if you haven’t at least 3 times yet]

And finally…

- “The New Jersey State Police Marine Unit sent vessels to direct the heavy traffic of pleasure boaters and jet skiers around the area where divers were working.”

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The Trentonian article in its entirety can be found here: Woman drives car off pier, through air, and into river

And for more of the ever-evolving exhibit that is That Shit’s Hilarious presents: The Trentonian, explore it further by clicking here.