Artifacts of Modernity

Did someone really take the time to paint this? of the...

Sat, 04 Sep 2010 21:41:09 -0400

Did someone really take the time to paint this? of the Day

“This is an Artifact of Modernity” Photo of the Day...

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 18:01:31 -0400

“This is an Artifact of Modernity” Photo of the Day (9/1/10):

I don’t know who’s stupider aka more scholarly, the Globe for everything that it is, or Time for actually asking this rhetorical question as if it’s even a question.

(via obese-)

Update: Yes, we the Curators do realize that this Time magazine was not originally intended to be next to the Globe and is merely covering a bunch of ‘Better Homes’ magazines (who also probably contain some Islamarama article), but the juxtaposition is surreal enough that we find it fitting to include in the Museum regardless.

At this point you should realize that sometimes the Museum just...

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 16:32:00 -0400

At this point you should realize that sometimes the Museum just hands things over to thedailywhat to speak on our behalf.

This is one of those times. Take it away:

Infomercial of the Day: This is the way the world ends: Not with a bang but a text-message-assisting thimble.

[videogum.]

Other cultures are the weirdest. (via blackadder)

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 15:34:55 -0400

Other cultures are the weirdest.

(via blackadder)

Facebook, using “gay” as a put-down, and a...

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 00:51:57 -0400

Facebook, using “gay” as a put-down, and a discussion about the meaning of hipsters: what more could you want in the Artifacts of Modernity museum?

(via femalempowerment)

I mean, I see what you did there. Coming Soon to the Museum: an...

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 14:12:24 -0400

I mean, I see what you did there.

Coming Soon to the Museum: an exposé on the quik-e-mart/7-11/insert name of tiny convenience store attached to a gas station that reinforces all the worst stereotypes about the United States.

“This is an Artifact of Modernity” Photo of the Day...

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 11:00:00 -0400

“This is an Artifact of Modernity” Photo of the Day (8/31/10):

Mascot down, I repeat, the mascot is down.

This looks so painful.

(via yimmyayo)

The Artifacts of Modernity Online Museum brings you yet another...

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 00:08:12 -0400

The Artifacts of Modernity Online Museum brings you yet another really unfortunate yet really real children’s book.

But at least it’s helping kids deal with their daddy issues, right?

On a side note, are you an eager beaver reader?

Also, coming soon: Danny’s Mom Works on a Street Corner

Excerpt:

She walks in the door. There is make up on her face. It looks like she is crying. “What’s wrong, Mom?” asks Danny.

(via godsbiggestboners)

“This is an Artifact of Modernity” Photo of the Day...

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 02:44:38 -0400

“This is an Artifact of Modernity” Photo of the Day (8-30-10):

Dear Out-of-control Dog Owners of the 2000/2010’s,

Why?

Seriously though. Take a minute and think about why in god’s name are you spending the money and wasting resources on a GREETING CARD for your DOG?

Why?

I mean, spending the money and wasting the resources on a greeting card for ANYONE is already questionable enough. But at least most human card-recipients can read.

thedailywhat has more insightfulness:

Things That Are Real of the Day: My favorite is the one on top that reads “To Mommy, love from the Dogs.” I’d like to believe that somewhere out there exists a kennel of dogs capable of purchasing greeting cards for their owner, and these are kept in stock just for them.

Behold: the most racist commercial ever. Sorry, MLK, Jr. —...

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 01:30:58 -0400

Behold: the most racist commercial ever. Sorry, MLK, Jr. — the setbacks just keep on coming.

“This is a horrible horrible Artifact of Modernity”...

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 14:41:11 -0400

“This is a horrible horrible Artifact of Modernity” Photo of the Day (8/29/10):

Mom, I (seriously) hate it here.

/ Canada is starting to sound really appealing again.

(via teenagejesus)

Thank god for DVR / digital TV guide listings to keep us...

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 14:36:56 -0400

Thank god for DVR / digital TV guide listings to keep us informed about the programs we might wanna watch.

After that brief description, we find ourselves quite intrigued about Airwolf.

(via juliasegal)

This is all there is to live for... IT'S ALL A MEME.

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 17:56:00 -0400

This is it. There isn’t anymore.

Everything in life is just a product of

I AM A Meme.
YOU ARE A Meme.

BALLOON BOY // JONBENET RAMSEY // THE ‘SHOES’ VIDEO // AVRIL LAVIGNE’S TIES // MY DUMPLINGS // THAT DANCING HIPPO // SAD KEANU // KEYBOARD KID // “CANDY DOESN’T DANCE HERE ANYMORE” // CIRCLE SCARVES // FUCK YEAH _______ ________ .TUMBLR.COM // THAT KID JOEY THAT YOU INTERNED WITH THIS SUMMER // YOUR HIGH SCHOOL // AUTOTUNE THE NEWS // “I’M IN MIAMI (OR INSERT-NAME-OF-CITY-HERE), BITCH!” // DOUBLE RAINBOW // SARAH PALIN // THE KOREAN WAR // THAT ONE WEEK YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE ‘FRIENDS’ WITH THE COBRASNAKE // WHEN GARY COLEMAN RAN FOR GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA // CALIFORNIA IN GENERAL // THE TING TINGS // THE WPST TOP 9 @ 9 // JIZZ IN MY PANTS // THAT KID TYLER, YOU KNOW THE ONE I’M TALKING ABOUT // SHARK WEEK // “DON’T TASE ME BRO” // THE GUY IN THE OLD SPICE COMMERCIALS //
TERRI F***ING SCHIAVO.

These are my memes right here.

—

(via Online University)

“This is an Artifact of Modernity” Photo of the Day...

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 17:32:00 -0400

“This is an Artifact of Modernity” Photo of the Day (8/27/10):

Well since you asked with bacon… absolutely.

All praise the iPhone, once again.

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 00:54:49 -0400

All praise the iPhone, once again.

“This Is An Artifact of Modernity” Photo of the Day...

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 00:40:03 -0400

“This Is An Artifact of Modernity” Photo of the Day (8/26/10):

This bitch just showed up on the Yahoo! log-in screen, and now we are sobbing via the irony or lack thereof of her tattoos.

FYI If you ever spot someone that have logos of social networking sites inked on to them, please take a picture and submit it to the museum because it would really be a travesty to let that pass by.
Thanks,
The Curators

Bristol Palin Coming To 'Dancing With The Stars'

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 14:15:00 -0400

She joins Kirstie Alley, Mike The Situation, Brandy, Florence Henderson, and oh my god I hate it here.

If you care enough to venture further into this story: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/26/bristol-palin-coming-to-d_n_695701.html

GlennBeckisnotMartinLutherKingJr.com

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 13:08:58 -0400

GlennBeckisnotMartinLutherKingJr.com:

Just to be clear, we know there’s been a lot of confusion of late, but despite what you may have heard Glenn Beck is not actually Martin Luther King Jr. Who knew?

But honestly, are they really that different? I mean, they both rallied the American people, stood for something that at the time seemed pretty ridiculous, and they will both have addressed this great nation from the National Mall on August 28th after this Saturday’s Glenn Beck rally. Sounds similar enough to me, right?

Oh.

WELP of the Day: Man, Shot in Head, Notices 5 Years Later

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 04:20:00 -0400

The following is one of the better “too drunk to remember” stories we’ve ever heard. Enjoy:

A Polish man living in Germany went about his business for about five years without noticing he had been shot in the head because he was drunk when it happened. Police in the western city of Bochum said on Tuesday doctors found a .22 caliber bullet in the back of his head after the 35-year-old went to have what he thought was a cyst removed.

Presented with the 5.6mm projectile, the man recalled he had received a blow to the head around midnight at a New Year’s party “in 2004 or 2005,” but had forgotten about it because he had been “very drunk,” a police spokesman said.

“He told us he remembered having a sore head, but that he wasn’t really one for going to the doctor,” the spokesman said.

The wound later healed around the bullet and it was not until the man decided to have the lump examined due to recurring pains that the discovery was made.

Police said they were not treating the incident as suspicious as the bullet might have got lodged in the man’s head when a reveler fired a gun in celebration.

“It may have been a shot fired up in the air which entered his head on the way down,” the spokesman said.

The resident of Herne, who has lived in Germany for several years, was expected to be released from hospital later this week after the bullet was removed on Friday, police said.”

Here ye, here ye! Let the Proposition 19 campaigning begin! In...

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:00:00 -0400

Here ye, here ye! Let the Proposition 19 campaigning begin!

In case you’re unfamiliar or too stoned to have taken note, Prop 19 is the Marijuana Legalization Bill that’s up for a state-wide vote this November in California.

The above video is one of the more comical examples of anti-Prop 19 campaign advertising that we’re sure will continue to become more viral and more hilarious as Election Day gets closer and closer.

To quote the ad:

Messed up minds. Messed up lives. Messed up families. CALIFORNIA OUT OF CONTROL.
Is this the kind of California YOU want?

Um, I’m pretty sure that’s already how California is / I’m pretty sure that’s why I moved there.