Artifacts of Modernity

Today we bring you a particularly tragic human tale from Brazil...

Sun, 27 May 2012 17:03:06 -0700

Today we bring you a particularly tragic human tale from Brazil of a man who despite all odds cannot un-become the Hulk ever again.

(via fuckyeahdementia):

Man who ran as Hulk cosplay can not return to the ‘human form’

To handle the difficult path, with sloping ascents, the Challenge of Peace, in the German Complex, Paulo Henrique dos Santos, 35, decided to dress up as the Incredible Hulk and seek forces worthy of the hero of the film. During the competition, in the Complexo do Alemão, the costume was a hit. But when it’s time to get rid of it the surprise: Paulo could not return to the “human form”.

“I spent hours in the bath trying to get this makeup and nothing. I had to ask for help from my girlfriend. The worst is that the paint shows no sign of giving away. The product is impregnated in my body. Even rubbing soap, still green” - he said.

“I was happy to run in my community and show the world that we have good here, and disclose my work as a singer. Now I’m very sad, not knowing what to do. I am embarrassed by this situation.”

[original / translated]

This is an Artifact of Modernity in the form of a sign posted on...

Sat, 26 May 2012 09:17:21 -0700

This is an Artifact of Modernity in the form of a sign posted on an entrance to the London Underground metro system.

Please respect urban solitude.

ryanhatesthis: This is performance art right? This some kind of...

Tue, 15 May 2012 13:56:17 -0700

ryanhatesthis:

This is performance art right? This some kind of like post-post-modernist dissection of the rise and fall of the “alpha male”… right?

Yes, albiet, the Gosselin family was all performance art.

What tumult-ridden egomaniac reality TV star do you wish DJ’d at your 8th Grade Prom? The Curator staff is personally torn between Tanisha of Bad Girls Club or Colby from Survivor: Outback.

YOLO on YOLO, or “Really…?”

Tue, 15 May 2012 11:38:12 -0700

YOLO on YOLO, or “Really…?”

This is a ‘Big Fat Lolololololololol Oh Wait Holy Shit...

Tue, 08 May 2012 21:50:26 -0700

This is a ‘Big Fat Lolololololololol Oh Wait Holy Shit He’s Not Being Ironic Okay Wow Shit Dude I Guess This is How Amendment 1 Got Passed’ Facebook Post of the Day.

Also, please notice his occupation, then giggle some more.

Poor Bethany… she’s just trying to enjoy the memories of her recent Paris trip and her dumb older bro had to go shit all over her News Feed.

How many proverbial Cole Hudson’s are you “friends” with?

If you were friends with Cole Hudson, would you unfriend him over this status update? Or would you use this as a chance to intervene before it’s too late aka before he takes a flaming pitchfork to Neil Patrick Harris (oh wait but like he cant be a homo cuz like Barney Stinson is such a boss bro).

(via ary)

FROM THE ARCHIVES: “Unemployed students in Czech Republic start nude cleaning service”

Tue, 08 May 2012 21:41:44 -0700

Nearly three years after inception, The Art of Mod Museum and General Store started finding itself lacking in original content. Until it remembered the thousands of archives it has collected over this toddlerific lifespan. Thus, Artifacts of Modernity is going back and digging through its archives to re-feature some of our favorite collection pieces.

We hope you enjoy / feel like we’re ‘selling out’.

Here’s a fun one circa 2010:

———————

Well, kids, leave it to the Czech to figure out how to successfully make money in the economic downturn…

…by getting naked. And then cleaning your house/apartment.

Yes, that’s right, a group of broke college kids in the Czech Republic have decided to finally do something about the lack of jobs available in the market by creating their own company,a nude cleaning agency adorably titled the “Crazy Cleaners”.

Some random news source from the UK has more:

Consisting of 15 male and female students, the cleaning agency has been established to beat the economic downturn in the country.

The Crazy Cleaners charge approximately $80 per hour for a complete cleaning service while offering profiles of all staff members and the outfits they wear while cleaning.

Customers can choose from cleaners wearing underwear, going topless or completely naked.

Its founder Katka Kopecka, who majors in economics at Charles University in Prague, said: “We had no choice but to commence this type of business to get out of the current situation.”

The 21-year-old college student stressed that people are fed up with household chores and this attitude lets them seek happiness by watching someone clean their house in their underwear.

She also pointed out that the company receives numerous calls from businessmen who are struggling with their hectic schedules.

According to her, the lucrative business not only provides its customers with pleasure but also make them feel stable.

Company founder / new businesswoman role model for all of society Kopecka adds that it’s just a cleaning service, not sex for money.

“Quite often the people asking for our services are busy business people who want to relax. Watching someone clean your house in underwear is a nice way for them to relax,” she told a Croatian newspaper.

“Nobody likes cleaning and everyone likes to look at a good body.”

Fair enough, fair enough.

Counting down the minutes until agencies like this pop up in Tempe, Arizona, the Los Angeles metro area via UCLA and USC, and the Upper West Side of New York.

Just in time for summer, you can rock the scent of Derek...

Sat, 28 Apr 2012 00:22:21 -0700

Just in time for summer, you can rock the scent of Derek Jeter’s sweaty sock drawer-meets-the smell of fresh pressed money that the Steinbrenner family never stops printing-meets-The Bronx with this must-have fragrance that will have everyone stopping you in your tracks to ask “Really?”.

Past | Present | Forever

(via yeahiwasintheshit)

This is exactly what the justice system in this country was...

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 21:39:03 -0700

This is exactly what the justice system in this country was intended for… to protect the rights of all chicken McNugget-craving citizens.

(via -ryan)

#Coachella

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 17:04:58 -0700

#Coachella

Photo

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 17:22:19 -0700

mildlyamused: afternoonsnoozebutton: natashavc: ownedthestage:...

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 01:32:26 -0700

mildlyamused:

afternoonsnoozebutton:

natashavc:

ownedthestage:

tyleroakley:

memewhore:

freesamuel:

the-astrovert:

HOLDE MINE HAIR

ye olde partie times

Verily, thou art such a lightweight.

Things ye can’t: even.

Thou only liveth once

#YOLOTH

You really need to lay off on the mead.

Hark! Not in mine rose bushes!

Conservative Teen Magazine, Please.

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 11:09:00 -0700

Hey all you reasonable not-corrupted-by-our-horrible-world-and-MTV teens out there, it’s time for you to subscribe to this awesome (relatively) new magazine, The Conservative Teen!

Follow the lead of these preppy white teens on the front and make sure Mommy and Daddy send you to private school, opt you out of universal healthcare, and ensure you always have a copy of The Conservative Teen coming to your door.

It’s so important for kids to be exposed to the horrible liberal bias of the media, because with all the gay characters and environmentalist-themed propaganda messages found in our movies and TV shows, it’s easier than ever for kids to fall into the awful trap of thinking human rights is a good thing. We shutter to think…

Also, (we can’t make this shit up) below is one of the many great articles you’ll find included in this magazine:

Please please note that the above article is written by Michael Reagan, Ronald Reagan’s son.

To enjoy all that this magazine has to offer and read more about how Obama controls the tubes, enjoy a free preview of it by clicking here.

Say Kon'nichiwa to the Interwebz Best New Meme: Santorum-san

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 13:41:34 -0700

Wareware wa sonzai o hokori ni omotte iru SANTORUM-SAN!

**::GIGGLE GIGGLE:: ANIME STYLE GIGGLE**

Whoever realized that good ol’ Ricky Santo should become the greatest Japanese pop culture girl icon since James Franco’s body pillow Kamiko, you’re our new hero.

Arigato Santorum-san, sayonara!

More Santorum-san here via its self-serving Tumblr.

ryanhatesthis: Raven Raven-Symone Raving At A Rave

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 10:51:31 -0700

ryanhatesthis:

Raven Raven-Symone Raving At A Rave

Well, well, Mr. Bieber, that’s quite a magazine cover...

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 19:18:22 -0700

Well, well, Mr. Bieber, that’s quite a magazine cover spread you’ve scored yourself there.

Do you think Justin Bieber’s fan base is gonna be like totally excited by this one? Or will thirteen year old girls now have horrible nightmares about Biebs getting totally destroyed in a terrible fist fight brawl?

Or is a cold slab of meat gonna ascend to become the greatest tween accessory in response to the seemingly violent world we live in but mostly in response to this magazine cover?

Justin Bieber gets knocked out of his tux for Complex

Also, sorry that we can’t come up with anything Museum worthy besides Justin Bieber photos lately… Guess now that he’s of legal age we just can’t get enough or something awful like that.

L.A. Times Music Blog Does The Museum's Job For Them (via Justin Bieber's New Single Cover Art)

Sat, 17 Mar 2012 15:38:00 -0700

The following comes from the L.A. Times’ music blog, and if we didn’t know any better, we’d say it was written by a Museum curator.

Enjoy:

Justin Bieber fans vote on the artwork for new single ‘Boyfriend’

Casual Justin Bieber groupies might have found themselves in a mental tug of war on Friday as the final hours ticked away for online voting for the artwork on his new single, “Boyfriend.” In an effort to create some frenzy over the Mike Posner-produced track, out March 26, the 18-year-old pop star is allowing fans to vote via Twitter on two photo options for the single’s cover art. The voting ends Friday, though it’s unclear from the website what time it officially closes.

To the untrained eye, the difference between these two nearly identical photos seems inconsequential. Wrong. Each one tells a very specific tale — one that probably says more about the beholder than it does about Biebs himself. Behind these two equally expressionless gazes exist two very different sets of values, thoughts and fears that are worth examining.

Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

Photo #1 (left)

At first, this pose appears to be a classic Bieber. The sight of his hand mussing through his phantom curtain of bangs that he shed long ago denotes a nostaligic feeling for the past. This look would probably appeal to a young, naïve idealist who is as passionate about ending war as about the use of quality hair care products. Unfortunately you can only focus on one passion at a time, and a bottle of Vidal Sassoon is much easier to attain than world peace. The look of confusion and uncertainty might also attract a Bieber fan who’s not quite ready to let go of the Biebs’ days as the innocent, underage hearthrob. The chooser of this photo might even be apprehensive about moving forward in her or his own life — moving out of the house, getting a job, buying bed sheets without cartoon characters on them. It’s a big world out there and maybe you just want to keep your shirt buttoned up and be a kid for a little bit longer.

Photo#2 (right)

It’s hard to catch the averted eyes of the brand new bad boy Bieber. With the panache and wisdom that comes with 18 years of living, this is the kind of photo you take when you’re trying to show the world your newfound independence. Casting off the shadow of an outworn, sweetheart persona, you too might be looking for a change in how people perceive you. You’re also the kind of person willing to take a risk — after all, not everyone chooses to expose a tank top underneath a collared shirt unless he’s willing to be judged. Lately you’ve been easily distracted (obviously) by something new and enticing that’s come out of nowehere. A new life goal perhaps? A new love interest? A shiny object of some kind?

Results of the voting for the new artwork for the “Boyfriend” will be revealed Monday morning. Careful, there’s a lot riding on this. Choose wisely.

Don’t know how it took us this long to find out about...

Sat, 17 Mar 2012 07:48:36 -0700

Don’t know how it took us this long to find out about this, but this cannot be made up. Introducing to you, assuming you’ve been in the closet on this one the whole time too, Gay Kingdom of the Coral Sea, a micronation incorporated on an island in northeast Australia.

Wikipedia fills us in with more info:

The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands is a micronation established as a symbolic political protest by a group of gay rights activists based in southeast Queensland, Australia. Declared in 2004 in response to the Australian government’s refusal to recognize same-sex marriages, it was founded on a group of uninhabited islets on the Great Barrier Reef. It is an expression of Queer nationalism.

The kingdom’s national anthem is “I Am What I Am” by Gloria Gaynor.

Looks like it’s time for a pilgrimage.

Looks like McDonald’s is finally embracing the world of...

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 09:56:45 -0800

Looks like McDonald’s is finally embracing the world of post-irony and is just kinda sayin’-it-like-it-is in a self-referential you’re-gonna-feel-guilty-for-eating-here-but-you’re-gonna-do-it-anyway kinda way.

Or maybe it’s just billboard graffiti.

(via yeahiwasintheshit)

The Malcolm Skrill-X photoshop you’ve been waiting for...

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 00:31:04 -0800

The Malcolm Skrill-X photoshop you’ve been waiting for since late 2010 has finally arrived.

(via synecdoche)

Tale as old as time… True as it can be… Barely even...

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 18:31:54 -0800

Tale as old as time…

True as it can be…

Barely even friends, then somebody bends (cough breaks lotsa laws cough) unexpectedly…

Ahh the beauty of yet yet yet another Lindsay-Lohan-in-court photo.

Do you think court feels kinda homey for her at this point?

(via vooduud3)