Accordingly, R.I.P. Steve Jobs.  For this here Online Museum would not have been possible without him (cuz trying to do anything on a PC, let alone blog I mean curate a museum, just sucks).

(Source: chuvi)

Coming soon to the Artifacts of Modernity Clothing Line: the iPad Display Case Shirt.

Now you can officially be the Teletubby you’ve always dreamed of being… 

We look forward to the day when people start walking around the streets with ArtofMod.com prominently displayed on their chests. 

thedailywhat has more on this masterful fashion breakthrough:

Things That Are All Too Real of the Day: On first look, the iPad Style Shirt appears to be not a single lick more than a regular heavyweight cotton tee with a dinky vinyl-screened pocket on the front intended for the completely unnecessary practice of intrusively broadcasting the contents of your iPad to the world. But wait!:

• “2 hidden port holes on the inside for headphones or charger.” (i.e. holes).
• “Internal supports distribute weight of iPad across the body to prevent shirt distortion.” (LOLWUT.)
• “Full mobility whether you are sitting down or walking.” (This was not at all a given!)

All this and so much less for only $50. May God have mercy on our souls.

The Museum is a proud supporter of these fairly compact paper products that have been around for a lot of years that contain lots of words that you can read… they’re called books or something.

And you can find them at your local, uhhh, iBookstore.  No thats not it, ummm, oh! library!  That’s it, your local library.  We’re not sure if your local community still has that, and by local community, we mean where you live, like in a house, not like your local Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/Xanga community.

But seriously kids, reading books is cool!

Missy knows all too well… (does she though?)

I guess what we’re getting at here is:  Does this kind of in-your-face pro-library anti-Apple ‘cool posters’ marketing make you want to go read books?  Or does it just turn you off even more to a dying pre-2k10’s trend.

Are you down to “catch the reading bug”?  Or does this make you feel like you’re gonna get influenza / some creepy venereal disease / sexually transmitted infection if you go to the library in the hot summer months?

Does this HOT DAMN FIRE BLAZIN get your attention and make you wanna bury into a good book at the library?  Or are you, like we, just kind of scared and confused and frantically pacing around to find the nearest fire extinguisher?

Are you frantically running out your front door and into the car to get to your library ASAP so you can ‘get some’ in the middle of some bookstacks while simultaneously showering (?) with someone fairly attractive?  aka, Are you turned on right now?

Also, upon careful review, the Museum has come to the dynamic conclusion that these are, in fact, two people of what we believe to be the same gender.  And thus, is this a specific ploy to get the GLBTQWTF-community more excited about libraries?  Is this alienating the heterosexual book-lover population?  So many questions, so few answers.

Do you find yourself wanting to go to your local library more or less after seeing these anti-Kindle propaganda posters…

P.S. Bonus anti-iPad propaganda below:

(via fartdstfatrtsfarts)

Career-launching Viral Video of the Day: An Israeli indie rock band capitalizes on the “iPhones = Everything in human existence” notion of understanding with this music video that the Museum declares as a unique thinkpiece of the iPhone’s true role in society, plus a nice way to take all our minds off the iPad.

thedailywhat has more:

Music Video of the Day: Armed with a bushel of iPhones, a sweet soundtrack, and the human app known as imagination, Israeli indie rock band IZABO set out to film a music video for their latest single, “On My Way.” It just so happens that somewhere along that way, they inadvertently produced the most creative Apple viral video of the year.

[thanks shiri!]

She & Him, Neon Indian, and Grizzly Bear all get the spotlight treatment in Apple’s latest iPhone commercial.  Which leaves us wondering, has the day finally come?  Is this the day that Billboard dies?  Will the Hype Machine be resurrected in its place?

Are Zooey Deschanel and Ronald Gierhart (of Neon Indian) the new T-Pain and Christina Aguilera of popular culture?  Will music festivals replace Top 40 radio?  

Is this hypothetical future a good thing, or does its mainstream-ification “lose the appeal”?  So many questions, so few answers, watch the commercial, the link is above, Carles’ comments are below.

More jargon from thehipsterrunoff:

“Can’t believe it finally happened. A chillwave buzzband finally got ‘acknowledged’ by the mainstream iPhone commercial…” - Carles, blog creator of Hipster Runoff

p.s. In case you didn’t notice, the commercial also quickly features Owl City.  So forget everything mentioned above, nothing is changing any time soon/everything is over once again, fail.

Leave it to thedailywhat to deliver us more painful and evident truth.

Read more about the Museum’s take on the iPad here: Artifacts of Modernity - iPad

Remember paper? What a joke, right?

Remember sitting at home on the couch/ottoman/old leather bucket seat, relaxing with a martini and a good book?  What a flashback.

Remember books?

Remember those relatively thick things that had covers and then pages and pages of words and written stories and text and stuff?  Remember how you would have to squint at the words sometimes because they were too small?  Remember Barnes and Noble?  Remember actually having to buy yourself the books you wanted to read by going to a bookstore?  Remember Shakespeare and Company?  What a retro useless commodity.

Remember bookshelves?

Remember having to store all those books somewhere?  Remember having to come home from IKEA with pieces to a shelving unit, and having to construct that shelving unit, and then having to put your books on it?  Remember libraries?  What on earth were we thinking?!!

Remember “get togethers”?

Remember when friends or family would come over and you would whip out that big binder filled with all the 3x5 photos from your most recent vacation?  Remember how they would actually have to be in your physical presence in order to see all your happy pictures?  Remember how they’d crowd up your living room while you worried about whether Aunt Martha was going to eat all the dip before anyone else could have some?  Remember having to physically share things with people?  Remember having to verbally interact with others?  What a big old bother.

Remember newspapers?

Remember all those pages, all that folding and unfolding, all those little black letters and printed photos and ink, ohh, the ink??  Good riddance.

Remember play dates?

Remember when in order to have fun you actually had to “invite someone over” or get mom or dad to do it for you?  Remember when you had to physically move in order to play a game?  Remember “Red Rover Red Rover”?  What bullshit.

Remember DVD’s?

Remember when you actually had to buy or rent a DVD or, heaven forbid, a Video Cassette, in order to watch your favorite movies?  Remember having to “Insert” and “Eject” formatted objects that resembled CD’s or audio tapes on steroids into “Video/DVD Players”?  Remember Video/DVD storage racks and shelves?  Remember organizing a physical library of your movies, or of anything for that matter?  It’s all so ludicrous!

Remember Calendars and Date books?

Remember having to whip out that ugly calendar thing from your purse or backpack or briefcase to “write appointments down” so you would remember them?  Remember “penciling someone in”?  Remember adding extra squiggleys to your cursive when writing “Lunch with my boyfriend” in for your hypothetical Thursday afternoon?  Remember forgetting what date it was and needing to go find a calendar hung up somewhere?  That’s SO yesteryear.

Remember Address books and Rolodexes?

Remember when you had to remember your friends and family’s phone numbers, when you had to actually “write them down” and keep them in a “safe place” near the telephone?  Remember when the “S” pages would get filled up way faster than all the other pages because you knew too many Silverstein’s, Schwartz’s, Shapiro’s?  (We’re assuming that you are Jewish / associate with lots of Jews).  Oy gevault!

Remember Art?

Remember when you had to have an easel or a piece of paper or parchment or something physical to actually draw or paint on?  Remember when you painted too much blue in one corner of the canvas and that meant that it would more or less be permanently there?  Remember getting paint and marker and crayon shavings all over your fingers and clothes?  Remember getting MESSY??  What ridiculousness, utter and complete ridiculousness!!

(FYI Apple has announced that you will be able to buy brushes separately for this iPad Paint application, but seriously)

Remember when everything in existence was not merely a virtual representation of itself?

Remember objects?  I’m starting to only remember the iPad.

Remember reality?  What a farce.