Gather ‘round everyone!  We’re heading to the worst state of Arizona for some State Prison Surprise!  

Yes, this exists!  

Yes, of course this is in Arizona!

(via abroadinspain)

Another day, another “should you really be going into U.S. politics???” artifact at the ol’ Museum.  Here’s Frankie Muniz aka Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle aka NASCAR race car driver (yes, that’s what he’s been up to for the last several years) aka “didn’t you pull a gun on your girlfriend a few months ago?”…  

Enjoy (via StarPulse (what is that even?)):

Frankie Muniz is planning a move into politics - the actor has revealed he’s preparing to run for public office.
 
The former child star, who was a hit on comedy show “Malcolm In The Middle,” told his followers on Twitter he’s planning a campaign to run for office, reportedly in his adopted state of Arizona.
 
He writes, “I’m going to be a politician. I’m running for public office. I will be announcing soon.”
 
But Muniz’s political takeover won’t be immediate - the 25 year old added “#Muniz2016” to his Twitter feed, meaning his plans won’t take place for another five years.

The actor made headlines in February after an altercation with his girlfriend Elycia Turnbow, during which he reportedly held a loaded gun to his head.

Muniz’s rep subsequently slammed reports he was suicidal and insisted a “gun played no part” in the feud.

Do you feel safer / better about potentially voting for Frankie Muniz as god-knows-what of the great state of Arizo… (it’s honestly too comical to even write that sentence out) now that his publicist says that a gun played no part in his feud with his girlfriend?

Good thing Justin Bieber is a Canadian citizen (not like not being a U.S. citizen has stopped anyone before).

#Muniz2016

Artifacts of Modernity, despite what it might appear to be, is not just a place to collect the garbage and horrors of today’s post-ironic world.  It’s also a place to recognize and codify the notions of today, to collect the ideas and quotes and graphics and visuals that will be someday remembered as “so 2011”.

And so, we are delighted to offer you this: a screenshot from the beloved once-upon-a-TV-series Arrested Development.  The image features closed captioning written at the bottom of what was being said by the above character, one of the 2000’s most shining examples of mothers on television, Lucille Bluth, at the time the screenshot was taken.

The central idea for our curating of this image is actually for two reasons.  The first, most obviously, is that the above quote by Lucille is hilarious and rather fitting for how much we all hate/love/hate Arizona.  The second, more subtly, is that this above image is one similar to so many others that continue to trickle through the interweb at this day and age.  2011 and its neighboring years will be remembered by these iconic screenshots with text at the bottom that offer a much faster and more direct representation of a particular television/movie/videographic scene than having to actually watch the clip itself.

Don’t you forget now, this is a Museum.  (shut up, it is!)  (stop that, it’s not funny, this is really a museum, ok?!?)

(Source: notthatem)

We’ve all been there…

Don’t deport my mom.

P.S. Arizona is still the worst place on Earth.  Coming soon to the Museum: “Which is more horrible, Arizona or Pennsylvania.”  Prepare for the most epic debate of which of these big shitters will be crowned Da Worst Place On Earth.

As we all know 2010-12 are the years when the hipster diaspora will commence. Let’s face it-rents are only going to go up in Silver Lake, Williamsburg, Green Point let alone all the hipster persecution that has recently started via urban guerilla violence against american apparel outlets. Hipsters: NYC/LA is too overpopulated by your type, go west, to the site of the future hipster movement: ARIZONA!!

Now that Arizona will be devoid of Mexis via racial profiling, there will be plenty of opportunities for young hipsters looking to make some money to buy more PBR, go to more concert festivals, own American Apparel. 

Hipsters will be the backbone of the workforce; hipsters will only take the jobs americans don’t want; the american economy will be built on the alternative dreams of displaced hipsters. 

The climate is perfect for outdoor festivals 

Plenty of ironic spots to ironically grab a burger

 Plenty of things to complain about since Arizona is actually a fucking shithole/”most livable”. 

Cacti=peyote

Coyote is the most ironic of all pets/animal companion.

 Mediocrity is my lifestyle choice. I live in Arizona. 

Welcome to generally any undesirable location just east of Los Angeles, California / in or around Phoenix, Arizona.

What “neighborhood” and by that we mean culture-less amusement park of a “city” does this remind you most of?

(via robotindisguise)

Well it’s about time we see Fox News being a total douchebag to its own GOP party-followers.  Take that, J.D. Hayworth!  Love when Fox News uses the term “Congresswoman” to diss people / Love when Fox News reinforces that women are inferior.

John McCain must be laughing his ass off right now (as Hayworth has just announced that he plans on running against McCain in the Republican primary for his Arizona Senate seat).  Unless McCain himself planned and/or paid for this to happen (wouldn’t put it past em).

P.S. Do yourself the favor of getting to know this Hayworth fella… he’s quite the prick/intolerant idiot himself.  And knowing the American political system in the post-Palin world, he should have a name for himself quite soon.