This is an exceptional Craigslist piece and should be carefully read word for word for its epic awesomeness.

Best. Roommate. Ever.

San Francisco’s about to get rocked by one serious scholar.

(Source: heyveronica)

“This is so not a shocker / what happens when you live a lie / why homofobia is more often than not just a front for your own sexual insecurity / why Craigslist is HILARIOUS” News Story of the Day:

via thedailywhat:

Hypocritical Hoosier of the Day: Indiana state Rep. Phillip Hinkle, a married, anti-gay member of the local GOP, reportedly solicited the “friendship” services of a young man he found through an M4M “Casual Encounters” ad on craigslist.

20-year-old Kameryn Gibson, who listed his age as 18, wrote in his ad “I need a sugga daddy,” to which the 64-year-old Hinkle reportedly responded “Cannot be a long time sugar daddy, but can for tonight. Would you be interested in keeping me company for a while tonight?” Hinke then offered Gibson $80 plus tip “for a really good time.”

The Indianapolis Star, which was forwarded the email exchange between the Republican and his Craigslist companion by Gibson’s sister Megan, reached out to Hinke for a comment. “I am aware of a shakedown taking place,” the Rep., who did not deny authorship of the emails, told the paper.

“I wasn’t shaking him down, at all,” Kameryn Gibson retorted. According to his account, the two went to a hotel where Hinkle showed him his ID. When Gibson realized who Hinkle was, he told him he didn’t want to continue, but Hinkle told him he couldn’t leave “until we do what we need to do.” Gibson says he called his sister who threatened Hinkle with exposure, but Hinkle remained aggressive, removing his clothes and grabbing Gibson’s arm and rear.

Megan arrived to pick up her brother, and threatened Hinkle again. He offered her his iPad, a BlackBerry, and $100 in cash to keep quiet. Later on, Megan says she received a call from a woman claiming to be Hinkle’s wife. She told her “your husband is gay,” which the woman insisted was mistake until Megan provided his email address as proof. There was silence “for a couple seconds,” Megan told the Indy Star, “and the first thing she said was, ‘Please don’t call the police’.”

Megan says she was later offered $10,000 “not to say anything,” and even received a call from Hinkle himself. She told him she had outed him to his wife and family, to which he responded: “You just ruined me.”

Hinkle, who sponsored a measure to add “In God We Trust” to Indiana’s license plates, voted this past spring in favor of a constitutional ban on gay marriage. 

[indystar / courierpress.]

Well, it looks like Carmageddon (the hyperhyped media blitz term for the closure of Los Angeles’ I-405 Freeway between the 101 and I-10 occurring this weekend and making all Angelenos scared for their lives) isn’t doingeveryone a disservice… 

Random poll question: How many L.A. residents will not be getting laid this weekend thanks to Carmageddon? (aka, “Baby I love you but hell no I’m not driving to the Westside just to see you tonight.” or “Yo bro there’s no way I can get over to UCLA this weekend, this sucks, so much missed-pussy-opportunity! Shit!”)  

Less random poll question: How many L.A. residents will be getting laid this weekend thanks to Carmageddon?  (aka, “Just crash here for the weekend” and “I’ve never heard of this thing you call ‘public transit options’, so I’m just gonna have to stay a few more hours…”)

It’s nice to know that it’s not just your average joe’s out there that are showing off what they got on personals search forums, such as those provided by the one and only Craigslist, the sometimes-really-helpful via “I need a new couch for my dorm” sometimes-really-ironically-hilarious via “A man wants me to come over so he can give me a BJ and then will pay me money for it” website that we all know and love.

Here we have Congressman Christopher Lee of New York State’s 26th District.  Just your average pro-“Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” anti-abortion congressman, who seems to scrutinize other peoples’ sex lives while he just muffs up his own.  Perfect.

Here’s the story (via Gawker):

Rep. Christopher Lee is a married Republican congressman serving the 26th District of New York. But when he trolls Craigslist’s “Women Seeking Men” forum, he’s Christopher Lee, “divorced” “lobbyist” and “fit fun classy guy.” One object of his flirtation told us her story.

On the morning of Friday, January 14, a single 34-year-old woman put an ad in the “Women for Men” section of Craigslist personals. “Will someone prove to me not all CL men look like toads?” she asked, inviting “financially & emotionally secure” men to reply.

That afternoon, a man named Christopher Lee replied. He used a Gmail account that Rep. Christopher Lee has since confirmed to be his own. (It’s the same Gmail account that was associated with Lee’s personal Facebook account, which the Congressman deleted when we started asking questions.)

By email, Lee identified himself as a 39-year-old divorced lobbyist and sent a PG picture to the woman from the ad. (In fact, Lee is married and has one son with his wife. He’s also 46.)  Here’s what he had to say:

Hi,

Hope I’m not a toad. :) i’m a very fit fun classy guy. Live in Cap Hill area. 6ft 190lbs blond/blue. 39.. Lobbyist. I promise not to disappoint.

Lee’s Craigslist correspondent—a government employee from Maryland who asked not to be identified—liked what she saw. She replied flirtatiously. He replied with a PG-13 muscle picture. (See below)

By modern day standards, the conversation was relatively banal: No prostitutes, escorts, or madams were involved. Just good old fashioned lying and an apparent willingness to cheat on one’s wife.

Read more via Gawker’s article on the kinda-wrong kinda-funny kinda-pathetic kinda-wish-it-was-juicier-than-this hot mess.

So as some of you Museum-goers may or may not know, the Artifacts of Modernity Museum of Modern Everything is currently celebrating its first birthday (which should’ve been made obvious by the huge Comic Sans-font banner hanging over the information desk next to the IMAX ticket counter).

But this first birthday just doesn’t feel complete/cumplete without a little bit of steamy bday action… without some hanky panky spanky…  you know what we’re talking ‘bout: Birthday Sex.  

So since the Curators are looking to “get some”, and the year is 2010, the only way we could possibly imagine facilitating a sexual experience for our birthday is via Craigslist. 
Cuz I dont wanna be lonely tonight… I have the birthday blues….

Could / would / (should) you make me feel better??

The more we read these, the more we realize that each of these could make fantastic viral content.  From the “all holes available” to the “half korean, small tits but very firm”… we also appreciate the noting of the importance of condom usage.  Have safe birthday sex, everyone.

Any guesses for what “boston hotel” this is all going down at?  

Trying to decide which one of these we should respond to… Is helping one of these lovely scholars out the right thing to do?  Do you gotta give some birthday sex to get some birthday sex?

Happy birthday to us.

Thank god for the internet.

A comical post that has spread like wildfire around the Tumblr community a few weeks ago was posted by an inspirational source for us called The Daily What.  The post is a clipping from the popular online marketplace website Craigslist.  This post comes from the “Missed Connections” section of the website, and is titled “You stuck my flash drive in your vagina”.  Hilarity ensues here: http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/mis/1701584027.html

As you may have noticed from reading the fantastic Craigslist piece, the incident involved takes place at what the Museum’s direct sources call a “sketchy neighborhood bar” in a “rough neighborhood” in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

For the last several months of its existence, the Museum of the Artifacts of Modernity has largely neglected to acknowledge news, stories, or cultural happenings from the urban area known as Philadelphia.

But as the Museum’s attendance, participation and societal importance continues to rise, we as the Curators feel that it is time to finally address the place that some have called “the most meaningless city in the world”, while others fondly revere it “home bittersweet home”… 

Introducing: PHILADELPHIA.

Whoops… I mean, WELCOME TO PHILADELPHIA!:

Crap… one more try…. hereeee’s PHILADELPHIA!!!:

So why are we discussing Philadelphia today?  Well how could we not?  It just has so much to offer…

Philadelphia: fun for the whole family!

Philadelphia: a gourmet wonderland!

Looking to party the night away?  Maybe Philadelphia is right for you…

But don’t take our word for it… Enjoy the following advertisement that has left New Yorkers everywhere flipping Phillyites the bird twice as often as usual:

We know you’re looking forward to learning more about America’s crime-infested junkyard historical founding city, so stay tuned to the Museum’s new upcoming Philadelphia and Surrounding Metro Area Exhibit… coming this Summer.

No parent is perfect.  

And it’s by no means easy to raise kids.

And sometimes, in very unfortunate situations, being a parent becomes no longer possible or feasible.

Which is why it’s so great to know that instead of just abandoning their child, parents can now turn to the glory of the Internet to sell their unwanted sun/daughter.  
This brings us to an unidentified man who goes by Rick, who as of February has been posting on the popular buying/selling website Craigslist looking for people to buy his son Gavin.

So… assuming you went on to Craigslist to search for a new son to add to your family, does Gavin seem like a good purchasing opportunity?

But how do you know if Gavin is really a great kid?  How do you know if Gavin would be right for your family?  How do you know what his unique interests are?

Ah, good to know.  But refusing to eat vegetables??  Guess he’ll just have to be trained better to finish all those brussel sprouts.  But now that you know this, are you curious about what else he refuses to do?  Can you tell whether he’s easy to handle?  Do you think he’s whiney, annoying, irritable?  Do you think he can be disciplined?

Oh, word.  Thanks for sharing your parenting techniques with us, Rick.  You’re clearly doing a good job there, although the fact that you’re posting to sell your own son on Craigslist is a little fishy… but nothing too out of the blue I suppose.

Anything else you want to share with us potential buyers, Rick?

Aw, how sweet.  This really shows that Rick cares.

So, after reviewing these posts more thoroughly, do you think you might want to buy Gavin??  Or would you rather just stick to shopping for used Bose headphones and perusing for summer jobs that require you to take your bra off…

Ultimately, it’s just nice to know that there are so many different things available to buy, sell, and discover on Craigslist.  And don’t forget about the “Missed connections”!