Love to see that Wall Street is applauding Urban Outfitters Inc. LLC for being such a hot commodity in the NASDAQ.

Looks like American Apparel could learn a thing or two, as indie bloggers everywhere such as msnbc have declared that AmApp is in some serious financial trouble.  Good thing I sold all my stock in Circle Scarves back in 2009.

I’m definitely sticking with URBN for a while… I mean, the end of 2k8 wasn’t so hot, but it was a bad time for the entire Hipster Stock Market.  Can’t blame the flannel and Animal Collective blasting over the intercom for that one.  

Hoping that my URBN stock continues to grow this summer like it did after Urban Outfitters started selling vinyls in 2007.

Man, check out that mid-May nosedive from American Apparel.  URBN is a way steadier choice right now, kids.  If you haven’t pulled out of APP yet, tell your dad that his hedge fund might be going “in the shitter” if you keep your stocks in the Deeep V department.

…

I think it’s time that Hipster Runoff becomes a tradable commodity.  Would you invest in HRO if you had the chance?

I would’ve bought up a lot of stock right after the Human After Yall post surfaced.  But the ‘CARLES is DEAD’ crap from back in 2k9 would’ve definitely sent investors scrambling.

Could big sales of the “I AM CARLES” clothing line propel HRO up the financial ladder?  Will Goldman Sachs be watching?  Or is Carles’ brand still too much of a “niche market”?

….

What’s your next big move in the hipster market?

Are you gonna buy up all the shares of Governors Island, NY in preparation for all the free indie shows happening there this summer?
 

Are you desperately selling off all your ‘Summer Raves’ shares after the media’s brutal attack on rave/ecstasy culture via the “EDC aftermath”?

Are you planning on investing in thousands of vuvuzelas in anticipation for chillwave’s embracement of the alt/ethnic instrument?

Are you stuck in a quandary (A QUANDARY) over how to earn back all the money you lost on MGMT in the post-Congratulations nightmarish economic state that we live in?

(inspiration for this museum entry comes from the grand work of teenagejesus)