Looking to be the best man you can be?  Looking for that ‘edge’?  That special something to impress the ladies?

Trying to get that one special sorority girl to come home with you from the bar and unintentionally wake up in your arms the next morning??

Then look no further than the cologne that will change your life…

“In order to be greatness, you have to smell like greatness” - Ed Whitacre Jr, CEO of General Motors

Presenting… Hummer: The Exclusive Fragrance Collection for Men.

As their personal branding campaign puts it:

A vehicle so extreme in its power, so incomparable in its appearance, that it defies any attempt to place it in a traditional category. Simply stated, HUMMER™ gives new meaning to the word invincible.

In keeping with its famous heritage, HUMMER™ Fragrance For Men is masculine with rugged and adventurous attributes. This classic yet bold new fragrance for men embodies all that HUMMER™ is.

Nothing says “invincible” and “adventurous” man like this Hummer.

Wanna go as big as it gets?  Show the world you’re no pussy??  Let us introduce you to H2 by Hummer… a scent for the man who has everything, including the Hummer H2 that Mommy and Daddy bought him for high school graduation.

The car might be discontinued, but the scent shall live on forever.

“Be the man you always dreamed of being” - Random Connecticut college motto

It’s hard to say goodbye when it’s to someone you loved so much, someone you cared so much for, someone who was so important to your life and your personal dickwad brand.

It’s hard to understand just how much pain and suffering this shall cause.  It’s hard to describe this type of raw emotional loss… like the kind you had when Obama won or the kind you have every time you drive pass a wind power farm.

It’s hard to think of the future without your baby, your pride and joy, your Daddy’s little girl.

It’s hard to move on from something so nurturing, so wonderful… something that was so symbolic of everything you believed in.

It’s hard to sit there and watch as your one true love fades away into the distance, as a cruel horrible enemy crushes her into oblivion, as the evil of another triumphs over your innocent, your sweet, your former love.

Rest in peace, my love.  We will never forget you.

“I will remember you (dooby dum dum dum), Will you remember me? (dooby dum dum dum), Don’t let your life pass you by…. weep not for the memories”

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R.I.P. Hummer ( 1992-2010 )

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(Educate your damn self, read the NY Times article here)