To the kid that came up with this Halloween costume or the parents that coerced him into it, you all win.  All of you.

Happy Halloween again.

(via nedhepburn)

We’re tired, it’s been a long crazy week or so, so if you really want to read more about this, click the above link.

Otherwise, just know how dumb it all really is…

Sweet dreams, xoxo, the Curators

(Source: meredithbklyn)

Artifacts of Modernity, despite what it might appear to be, is not just a place to collect the garbage and horrors of today’s post-ironic world.  It’s also a place to recognize and codify the notions of today, to collect the ideas and quotes and graphics and visuals that will be someday remembered as “so 2011”.

And so, we are delighted to offer you this: a screenshot from the beloved once-upon-a-TV-series Arrested Development.  The image features closed captioning written at the bottom of what was being said by the above character, one of the 2000’s most shining examples of mothers on television, Lucille Bluth, at the time the screenshot was taken.

The central idea for our curating of this image is actually for two reasons.  The first, most obviously, is that the above quote by Lucille is hilarious and rather fitting for how much we all hate/love/hate Arizona.  The second, more subtly, is that this above image is one similar to so many others that continue to trickle through the interweb at this day and age.  2011 and its neighboring years will be remembered by these iconic screenshots with text at the bottom that offer a much faster and more direct representation of a particular television/movie/videographic scene than having to actually watch the clip itself.

Don’t you forget now, this is a Museum.  (shut up, it is!)  (stop that, it’s not funny, this is really a museum, ok?!?)

(Source: notthatem)

We’re pretty sure there’s no better way for us to cover the “Representative Weiner’s weiner twitpic dilemma” story than by archiving this photograph into the artifacts of modernity.

Sleazily-titled news headlines + Hoda and Kathy Lee + morning drunkenness + #ControversiesViaTwitter + dick jokes!! dick jokes!! dick, dick, dick jokes!! = 2011 News Media at its most glorious.

(via today)

Gawker reports to us here at the Museum that everyone’s favorite celebrity  everyone’s favorite role model  everyone’s favorite oh wait no one actually likes her okay never mind Bristol Palin, provider of a dumb teen pregnancy story, an even worse baby Daddy (where is that horrible meme aka Levi Johnston these days anyway?), and the worst mother of all time, is finally getting her own reality TV show.

Read below and enjoy:

Bristol Palin, daughter of Sarah, former star dancer, do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do abstinence advocate, and facial shape shifter, has her own reality show. No, it’s not Extreme Makeover. It’s some crazy project for the Bio channel.

The Bio channel has nothing to do with science, which is good, because nothing scares Republicans more than science. It’s the old Biography channel that basically just consists of reruns of the A&E show. The ten 30-minute episodes will feature Bristol moving from Alaska to Los Angeles to work at a charity. Wait, doesn’t she live in Arizona? We guess the only thing Republicans hate more than science is reality—even on reality TV. Of course she’ll have her baby in tow, because if Teen Mom is a hit Tea (Party) Mom should be a hit, too. Way to continue deglamorizing the life of the teen mother, Bristol.

When she gets to L.A. Bristol will move in with fellow star dancer and former That’s So Raven star Kyle Massey.

Wait, stop the story.  What?  

Kyle Massey from That’s So Raven and subsequent spin-off Cory in the House is gonna be living “in the house” with Bristol Palin??

We’ll allow Gawker to continue onward, since they basically ask the same questions we would ask:

Is he going to work at the charity too?  Is the charity reinvigorating Kyle Massey’s career?  Also, will Kyle Massey have to show Bristol his birth certificate before he moves in to prove he wasn’t born in Kenya?  Anyway, this thing is going to be totally insane which means, yes, I’ll totally be watching.

P.S. Cannot go un-included in this post:

The Tyra Show presents: an upcoming episode titled “Strange Sex” (just watch the promo, trust us…)

Part of a new exhibit we like to call “The Tyra Show: A Daily Dose of The Final Line of Postmodernism”

We apologize that the Tyra Show does not allow us to embed her promo videos into the Museum itself.  She and we both thank you for the time you took to click the above link and see the wonders for yourself.

(via ohwelp)

Sometimes the Museum likes to bring you shocking breaking news that even in these post-ironic times seem rather unexpected.

And sometimes, we deliver you exactly what you’ve been expecting to hear for the last year or so.  So congratulations, this is one of those times, as we’re here to share with you the story of how Antoine Dodson is getting his own reality TV show:

Hide your kids, hide your wife: Antoine Dodson — star of the viral smash “Bed Intruder” — is shooting a reality TV show pilot.

The pilot, produced by Entertainment One, will follow Dodson and his family as they relocate to Hollywood from Alabama’s Lincoln Park Projects — made famous by a local news report in which Dodson delivered a spirited warning to a man who invaded his sister’s room. Through the magic of AutoTune and a remix by the Gregory Brothers, it became a musical masterpiece and YouTube sensation (left).

Scott MacFadyen, a rep for Entertainment One, says the pilot will be about Dodson “leveraging every aspect he can to make a better life for his family.” 

And before you discount Dodson as an accidental one-hit wonder — or the show as “so dumb, so dumb, so dumb” — MacFadyen notes that Entertainment One has a record label in addition to making TV shows.

“You might see some development in terms of his music career taking off,” MacFadyen told TheWrap. “We make TV shows, but we also have a music label. So I’ll just put that out there.”

“Bed Intruder” has been viewed more than 67 million times, and sales of the song on iTunes helped Dodson move his family out of the projects. He later appeared on the BET Awards and inspired scores of imitators on Halloween.

Good news to all of the Paula Abdul die-hard fans out there.

(What?  No one?  Oh.)

Well in case you missed her, Paula Abdul is back and ready to give a whole new set of “artists” incoherent Xanax-affected advice.  But this time instead of coaching singing sensations, Paula will be addressing the since-the-dawn-of-time question of ‘Are We Human or Are We Dancer?’ on her new dance competition television show, “Live to Dance”.

Here’s a trailer:

So, basically, you and the rest of America are gonna love it.

Oh wait actually its second episode was already on and totally tanked.  Welp.  Poor CBS, they tried so hard and got so far…

We can’t imagine why the show isn’t fairing well, despite the fact that it’s a dance show competition hosted by Paula Abdul and we’ve already had our more-than-fare share of “So You Think You Can Dance” and “Dancing with the Stars” and “Dance Your Ass Off” and “Dance Dance Revolution: The Musical”.

Well maybe next time Paula will get it right.  Keep rootin’ on, all you Abdul-addicts.