Do we need to say more?

Oh yeah, she was from Texas.  Visiting her family in Mississippi.  (#MakesMoreSenseNow)

Here for your reading pleasure is the yikes-worthy tale that sounds like an amazing Lifetime movie just waiting to happen / get the life rights secured away.

JACKSON, Miss. — Police in Mississippi say a Texas woman opened fire on a puppy that had threatened children, but wound up shooting and killing her husband.

Witnesses tell police that the pit bull named “Cocaine” had lunged at some children and tried to attack them on Friday. The dead man’s son says the children were taken inside and his father picked the dog up.

It was then that police say Betty Walker fired twice, hitting the dog once and her husband once in the chest. Jackson police spokeswoman Colendula Green says the death of 53-year-old Robert Walker appears to have been accidental.

Mr and Mrs Walker of Houston, Texas were visiting their son Robert Walker Jr and grandchildren at his South Jackson, Mississippi home.

She says a Hinds County grand jury will decide whether to charge Betty Walker.

Animal control officers have taken the dog, and its owner could face charges.

P.S. Best part?  The dog lived.

Bonus footage: Here’s the dog’s home.  Thanks, news, for making sure we got to see it.
 

WELP of the Week: 

Themed weddings are pretty much always The Worst, but this theme takes the cake: “Colonial Africa.”

This wedding ceremony (originally posted on welovepictures, picked up by Jezebel) took place in Mpumalanga, South Africa (yikes) and celebrated the nuptials of a lovely white couple. The “Out of Africa” theme was accented with authentic vintage accessories and the all-white crowd was waited on by an all-black staff of servants (YIKES). 

Remember how great it was when our people oppressed brown people?  Remember when we infiltrated their countries, forced them into slavery, exploited their labor for our economic gain, and implemented apartheid?  Oh, the nostalgia!  Let’s celebrate it via a wedding ceremony!  Mazel tov.

#ThisIsNOTaDrill.

In case you were hoping to find a ‘humanity is actually decent’ artifact here at the Museum, we’re just as sorry as always.

P.S. Way to suck, Jack.

(Source: chelseawoosh)

CNN, America’s lowest-ranked national news network, aka the severely-punctured ship that only Anderson Cooper is keeping afloat, and not by much, has more on this compelling headline news-worthy story: 

— A Hyatt guest returned to her room to find more than fresh towels, according to a lawsuit filed in Los Angeles Superior Court this week.

Dayanara Fernandez claims she found a male hotel employee in her room wearing her panties, skirt and high-heeled shoes during a June stay at the Hyatt in Deerfield, Illinois.

After a police investigation, the man was arrested and pled guilty, according to court documents.

In the complaint, Fernandez accuses Hyatt Corporation of invasion of privacy, negligent hiring, supervision and/or training and negligent infliction of emotional distress.

“We deeply regret that this troubling, unacceptable incident occurred. Hyatt has taken action to ensure this individual cannot return to that property or any other Hyatt. Because this now is the subject of litigation, we cannot comment further,” a Hyatt spokeswoman said in a written statement.

According to the suit, posted on The Smoking Gun, Fernandez returned to her room on the afternoon of June 6 to find some of her belongings spread around the sitting area of her room.

She saw a man in the bedroom area and “noticed an unusual expression on his face when she made eye contact,” the complaintsaid.

She realized the man was wearing her skirt and a pair of her heels. When the man ran into the bathroom, he didn’t completely close the door, and Fernandez noticed he was also wearing a pair of her panties.

The man changed his clothes and then shouted “Don’t tell, don’t tell” in Fernandez’s face, according to the court documents.

Fernandez reported the man to hotel management and asked for another room, according to the complaint. Management did not take further action until she insisted Hyatt call the police, the complaint said.

The following is one of the better “too drunk to remember” stories we’ve ever heard.  Enjoy:

A Polish man living in Germany went about his business for about five years without noticing he had been shot in the head because he was drunk when it happened. Police in the western city of Bochum said on Tuesday doctors found a .22 caliber bullet in the back of his head after the 35-year-old went to have what he thought was a cyst removed.

 Presented with the 5.6mm projectile, the man recalled he had received a blow to the head around midnight at a New Year’s party “in 2004 or 2005,” but had forgotten about it because he had been “very drunk,” a police spokesman said.

“He told us he remembered having a sore head, but that he wasn’t really one for going to the doctor,” the spokesman said.

The wound later healed around the bullet and it was not until the man decided to have the lump examined due to recurring pains that the discovery was made.

Police said they were not treating the incident as suspicious as the bullet might have got lodged in the man’s head when a reveler fired a gun in celebration.

“It may have been a shot fired up in the air which entered his head on the way down,” the spokesman said.

The resident of Herne, who has lived in Germany for several years, was expected to be released from hospital later this week after the bullet was removed on Friday, police said.”

That Shit’s Hilarious / Fraternities everywhere Presents: the following real life police investigation currently underway in Iowa, followed by real life commentary on the matter from a blog for bro’s called BarstoolSports.

Here’s the news clipping from KCCI 8 News in Des Moines, Iowa:

DES MOINES, Iowa – 

Des Moines police are investing a report of a sexual assault at a Drake University fraternity. Police said the case centers around pictures and video that a male victim said he found of himself being sexually abused. The victim said he found the images on his fraternity brother’s computer.

Anthony Bertolone, 21, is charged with third-degree felony sex abuse. Bertolone is a member of the Sigma Chi fraternity at Drake University. The victim told police that he copied images to a memory card from Bertolone’s computer and then he called police. The victim told police the images are of Bertolone performing sex acts on him while he was passed out.

The victim told police he has never been in a sexual relationship with Bertolone and that he didn’t consent to the acts. The victim also told police that he did not remember any of what was depicted in the photographs and videos.

According to further news sources, the photos and videos were apparently from “numerous occasions” and date all the way back to this past Fall.  

So basically, let’s see if we’ve got this straight (ha, get it??)… this frat bro / friend of the victim Anthony has been repeatedly sucking the Sigma Chi victim’s dick and taking photos/videos of the act nearly any time the victim was blacked out.  And we’re supposed to believe that even though this happened quite often, the victim had no idea, not even a clue?  Not even a ‘hmm why is my dick kinda wet again this morning after blacking out last night’?  Welp.

 
We’d now like to turn it over to BarstoolSports for some good ol’ social commentary:

College bro.  Man I fucking miss college. See this is what the old school people like the cops will never understand. Shit like this happens all the time in college.  Sometimes you wake up next to a fat chick. Sometimes you puke hungover during a final. And sometimes you pass out drunk and a frat brother sucks your cock on camera and saves it on his computer to watch later.   Just so fucking frat.  I mean this kid DEFINITELY had his shoes on too.   Had to.  You don’t get your dick sucked by a dude blacked out if you don’t got your shoes on.  Sure back in my day we stuck with Sharpie dicks to the face but if today’s kids are getting more progressive and going with real dicks to the asshole then who am I to judge.

Coming soon to your favorite Online Museum: The “Shit like this happens all the time in college” Meme.

Until then, keep on blacking out, kids.  And keep on suppressing your closeted sexuality, fraternity brothers everywhere.  Fight on.