The Tyra Show never stops serving the idiocracy up in delicious doses of “what the what?!?”…  

This time, we feature a clip from an episode titled ‘I Hate Being Gay’ where one gay guy reveals that he hates being gay, one girl (his ex-girlfriend now best friend) reveals she is solely attracted to gay men, the original one gay guy’s ex-boyfriend reveals that he and the ex-girlfriend have kissed and that she’s in love with him, and a different unrelated gay guy reveals that he hates all gay people.

So basically, it’s perfect and extremely relatable (but seriously).  Enjoy. 

The Museum is (actually, non-sarcastically) happy to share the following German children’s book, which looks to teach little kids about “why daddy lives with another man now”…

Thank you, Germany, for demonstrating that children can learn about homosexuality in appropriate, healthy and honest ways without being damned straight to hell or because they accidentally clicked a link to FratBoySecrets.com.

We would like to humorously note, however, the young narrator’s discovery of the fact that his dad and his dad’s “friend” “shave together”, which is an understandable red flag if we do say so ourselves.

Also, dad’s skimpy red bro-tank…
(which he probably only wears as either pajamas or as rave attire)

Final thought: Mom looks super hip, especially in the third to last slide.

hedwigthefeminist:

Alright, boys and girls, it’s time for a little field trip down to the good ol’ state of Virginia… home of America’s first slaves, the origins of Jim Crow (based on the lovely blackface anthem “Jump Jim Crow”), a famous college shooting, and a Paramount theme park.

And so to add to Virginia’s deliciously rich cultural history of “love” (and by love we mean hate), we’re delighted to share with you some top news coming out of the state’s judicial system.  A lawmaker for the state of Virginia has finally uncovered the truth to exactly what we’ve all been thinking about the new TSA screenings…

…it’s all part of our big bad government’s HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA.

Here’s the story:

A conservative Loudoun County lawmaker says controversial airport pat-downs by the Transportation Security Administration are part of a “wide-scale homosexual agenda.”

Eugene Delgaudio, a Republican representing Sterling on the Loudoun County Board of Supervisors, made the comments in a widely distributed e-mail sent in his capacity as president of the conservative nonprofit Public Advocate of the United States.

In the e-mail — reported by WUSA9 — Delgaudio also says the TSA’s non-discrimination hiring policy is “the federal employee’s version of the Gay Bill of Special rights.”

“That means the next TSA official that gives you an enhanced pat-down could be a practicing homosexual secretly getting pleasure from your submission,” he wrote.

Read more here.

Or just don’t.

(Source: oregony)

We’d like to welcome back Ke-dollar-sign-ha to the Museum today, who luckily for us has been absent from this Museum aka Wasteland of Entertainment for a while.

But fear not, Ke-U.S.-currency-symbol-ha is back and ready to be horrible to a whole new level.

We bring you to her latest iTunes chart-topping single, “We R Who We R”.
In case the name of the song doesn’t make you frustrated enough, get excited for this tidbit of information.  In several interview and nonsuch, K-$$$-a has discussed the following: 

Ke$ha wrote the song in the wake of the news that bullying had led to multiple suicides of gay youth. Kesha explained that she wanted the song to become a pride anthem; “I wanted to inspire people […] to be themselves. It’s a celebration of any sort of quirks or eccentricities.”

She elaborated, “I was really affected by the suicides that have been happening, having been subject to very public hatred [myself]. I have absolutely no idea how these kids felt. What I’m going through is nothing compared to what they had to go through. Just know things do get better and you need to celebrate who you are. Every weird thing about you is beautiful and makes life interesting. Hopefully the song really captures that emotion of celebrating who you are.”

Wow, so that’s kind of nice to hear… Ke-whocares-ha is finally doing something to promote good and justice and equality.  How sweet of her to think of the recent gay suicides as she wrote yet another popelectrotrash tune.

Only one issue… the song was written by her and her scholarfest management in August - September, and was slated for a late October release.

The gay suicides started receiving national news about a week after Tyler Clementi’s death… the suicide happened on September 22nd.  News headlines weren’t made until the very end of the month.

So basically, her whole blurb on how she had the gay community in mind was a huge lie.  Perfect.

And in case you feel like maybe she’s somehow a prophet or did have some rainbow pride support going on in her writing of this tune, we suggest you consult the lyrics.

(The following analysis comes from our friends over at Vice Magazine’s ViceBlog):

Hot and dangerous
If you’re one of us, then roll with us
‘Cause we make the hipsters fall in love
And we’ve got hot-pants on enough
And yes of course because we’re running this town just like a club
And no, you don’t wanna mess with us

Commentary: “So bullied teenage gays make hipsters fall in love? And wear hot pants? And run “this town just like a club”? Wait, does anyone run any town like a club? What does that even mean? And gays are dangerous? Is that some kind of AIDs thing? Because, if it is, that’s sort of offensive.”

We’re dancing like we’re dumb
Our bodies go numb
We’ll be forever young
You know we’re superstars
We are who we are!

Commentary: ” “We’ll be forever young”?  Seriously Kesha? In a song that’s (allegedly) about suicide you’re gonna go there?”

I’m just talkin’ truth
I’m telling you ’bout the shit we do
We’re sellin’ our clothes, sleepin’ in cars
Dressin’ it down, hittin’ on dudes (HARD!)

Commentary: “So gays sell their clothes? And they sleep in cars? And aren’t you alienating lesbians a little with the “hittin’ on dudes” part?

Now, are we sure we’re talking about gays here and you didn’t just write another shitty song about partying and then change it at the last minute to get some free promo? Because if you did, then that’s kinda awful.”

So there you have it.  Thanks again to ViceLand for providing us with some lyrical commentary, and for making the title of their article “Kesha on Gay $uicide”.

We, the Curators, apologize a little for how sometimes horrifically cynical we can be.  But this is one of those times where we just can’t help ourselves… there’s just too much hilarious awesomeness going on here to handle.

With Mike Myers (maybe or maybe not the beloved voice of ‘Shrek’), gays, Nascar, “beer allowances into the stands” issues, Las Vegas, and more one-liners than Steve Martin hosting an awards show, enjoy the following article about how “there’s more diversity in Middle American culture than you might think” :’(

Michael Myers grew up in Spartanburg, S.C., the middle of Nascar country, but his parents were not stock-car-racing fans, so he was not one, either. He went to his first race, the 1998 Coca-Cola 600 at Charlotte Motor Speedway, because he received free tickets.

But Myers said he became an unabashed fan over the next four or five years, and in September 2009, he started a racing Web site different from most others. Queers4Gears.com, he announced, would be an online home for gay Nascar fans.

Myers, 37, who lives in Las Vegas, is keeping his day job as a sales manager. But his Web site has found a modest audience of race fans, gay and straight. He said the site had averaged about 2,000 unique visitors a month.

(Myers is on the left)

“Nascar has more fans who are accepting of me being gay than gays have been accepting of me being a Nascar fan,” Myers said in a recent telephone interview.

(That is probably the best line in the whole interview, and the most honest line by far)

He still wants gay racing fans to know they are not alone. In fact, he made what he thought was Nascar history by arranging a ticket discount for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender fans to Sunday’s Sprint Cup race at Phoenix International Raceway.

“Just that alone, just sticking that on the Web site, says volumes to the gay community,” Myers said.

The deal, which is available to anyone through Queers4Gears, is among about 200 group ticket specials for the race weekend, said Paul Corliss, a track spokesman. About 50 to 100 people were expected to take advantage of the discount, which ranged from $7 to $18 a ticket, depending on seat location. For some, it may be an introduction to Nascar racing.

“As race promoters, we are always interested in opportunities to reach potential fans and introduce them to the excitement of our Nascar events,” Corliss said.

The ticket offer was a triumph of sorts for Myers, who as a part-time journalist is trying to get the word out to gay Nascar fans that they are not alone.

It is no secret that attendance at Sprint Cup races is lagging. Tracks are becoming more creative: Richmond International Raceway, for example, will allow fans to carry in soft-sided coolers that hold up to 36 beverage cans next season; the previous limit was six cans.

Nascar applauded Phoenix’s ticket offer through Queers4Gears, which Myers began to arrange when he was at the track in the spring to cover a Sprint Cup race for his site.

Andrew Giangola, a Nascar spokesman, said: “Nascar is a sport open to everyone, and we market it very broadly, as opposed to specific demographic segments. For example, while women make up 40 percent of the Nascar fan base, we position the sport more generally to all sports fans and would-be fans.” ….

He acknowledges that gay male race fans are attracted to stock car drivers the way straight female race fans are, but his agenda seems to be much simpler.

Race fans, no matter their sexual preference, just like to watch races.

“I’m not there to ask drivers about what they think about gay marriage,” Myers said. “I’m there to ask them about racing.”

Zing!

Woman Arrested For Smashing Gay Jesus Porno Art With Crowbar

See the video below for a more in-depth look at this news story that, as a fellow Museum, we find personally captivating:

(via yeahiwasintheshit)

The Artifacts of Modernity Online Museum is considering installing a more strict security system, and taking all “Gay Jesus”-related objects out of the front window display in an effort to better ensure our own safety.

Thank you for your continued patronage of the Museum and for treating this fine establishment with continued respect. 

That Shit’s Hilarious / Fraternities everywhere Presents: the following real life police investigation currently underway in Iowa, followed by real life commentary on the matter from a blog for bro’s called BarstoolSports.

Here’s the news clipping from KCCI 8 News in Des Moines, Iowa:

DES MOINES, Iowa – 

Des Moines police are investing a report of a sexual assault at a Drake University fraternity. Police said the case centers around pictures and video that a male victim said he found of himself being sexually abused. The victim said he found the images on his fraternity brother’s computer.

Anthony Bertolone, 21, is charged with third-degree felony sex abuse. Bertolone is a member of the Sigma Chi fraternity at Drake University. The victim told police that he copied images to a memory card from Bertolone’s computer and then he called police. The victim told police the images are of Bertolone performing sex acts on him while he was passed out.

The victim told police he has never been in a sexual relationship with Bertolone and that he didn’t consent to the acts. The victim also told police that he did not remember any of what was depicted in the photographs and videos.

According to further news sources, the photos and videos were apparently from “numerous occasions” and date all the way back to this past Fall.  

So basically, let’s see if we’ve got this straight (ha, get it??)… this frat bro / friend of the victim Anthony has been repeatedly sucking the Sigma Chi victim’s dick and taking photos/videos of the act nearly any time the victim was blacked out.  And we’re supposed to believe that even though this happened quite often, the victim had no idea, not even a clue?  Not even a ‘hmm why is my dick kinda wet again this morning after blacking out last night’?  Welp.

 
We’d now like to turn it over to BarstoolSports for some good ol’ social commentary:

College bro.  Man I fucking miss college. See this is what the old school people like the cops will never understand. Shit like this happens all the time in college.  Sometimes you wake up next to a fat chick. Sometimes you puke hungover during a final. And sometimes you pass out drunk and a frat brother sucks your cock on camera and saves it on his computer to watch later.   Just so fucking frat.  I mean this kid DEFINITELY had his shoes on too.   Had to.  You don’t get your dick sucked by a dude blacked out if you don’t got your shoes on.  Sure back in my day we stuck with Sharpie dicks to the face but if today’s kids are getting more progressive and going with real dicks to the asshole then who am I to judge.

Coming soon to your favorite Online Museum: The “Shit like this happens all the time in college” Meme.

Until then, keep on blacking out, kids.  And keep on suppressing your closeted sexuality, fraternity brothers everywhere.  Fight on.

The Museum’s favorite ‘that shit’s hilarious’ organization, the Westboro Baptist Church (creators of the ‘God Hates Fags’ slogan / cultural meme), is back to present more epic displays of so-not-funny-that-it’s-borderline-hilarious hate advocacy.  This time, it’s with that Mississippi high school student who wasn’t allowed to attend prom with another girl (aka the “Are lesbians are allowed at the formal?” Summer Heights High-influenced dilemma)… 

The church has decided to protest her high school graduation.  Because, well, ‘homos shouldn’t graduate high school’.

NY Daily News has more:

A Mississippi lesbian who was denied the chance to go to her school’s prom is now being targeted by a Kansas-based hate group - and it is going to protest at her graduation.

The Westboro Baptist Church, which has drawn jeers for picketing at soldiers’ funerals and on Tuesday cheered the deaths of 12 tornado victims in Mississippi, said in a statement last weekend that they will be on hand for Constance McMillen’s high school graduation ceremony, the Advocate reported.

“[We] will picket the graduation of Itawamba Agricultural High School to remind the parents, teachers and students of this nation that God said ‘Thou shall not lie with mankind, as with womankind, it is abomination,’” the group declared.

McMillen fought a legal battle with her Fulton, Miss., high school after it refused to allow her to attend the prom with her girlfriend. In response to the fight, the school then decided to cancel the prom.

She won in court after the judge found that the school had violated her freedom of expression, but did not force the school to reinstate the classic high school event.

McMillen then attended a privately held prom, but said afterward that the one she went to was actually a “fake,” while most of the rest of her classmates attended another prom she wasn’t told about.

The 18-year-old received national attention for her battle with the Itawamba County School District. She received a $30,000 scholarship from Tonic.com, a digital media company, during an appearance on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” in March.

McMillen has also been invited to take part in New York City’s Gay Pride Parade through Greenwich Village in June.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/04/28/2010-04-28_hate_group_westboro_baptist_church_to_picket_lesbian_teen_constance_mcmillens_gr.html