Love to see that Wall Street is applauding Urban Outfitters Inc. LLC for being such a hot commodity in the NASDAQ.

Looks like American Apparel could learn a thing or two, as indie bloggers everywhere such as msnbc have declared that AmApp is in some serious financial trouble.  Good thing I sold all my stock in Circle Scarves back in 2009.

I’m definitely sticking with URBN for a while… I mean, the end of 2k8 wasn’t so hot, but it was a bad time for the entire Hipster Stock Market.  Can’t blame the flannel and Animal Collective blasting over the intercom for that one.  

Hoping that my URBN stock continues to grow this summer like it did after Urban Outfitters started selling vinyls in 2007.

Man, check out that mid-May nosedive from American Apparel.  URBN is a way steadier choice right now, kids.  If you haven’t pulled out of APP yet, tell your dad that his hedge fund might be going “in the shitter” if you keep your stocks in the Deeep V department.

…

I think it’s time that Hipster Runoff becomes a tradable commodity.  Would you invest in HRO if you had the chance?

I would’ve bought up a lot of stock right after the Human After Yall post surfaced.  But the ‘CARLES is DEAD’ crap from back in 2k9 would’ve definitely sent investors scrambling.

Could big sales of the “I AM CARLES” clothing line propel HRO up the financial ladder?  Will Goldman Sachs be watching?  Or is Carles’ brand still too much of a “niche market”?

….

What’s your next big move in the hipster market?

Are you gonna buy up all the shares of Governors Island, NY in preparation for all the free indie shows happening there this summer?
 

Are you desperately selling off all your ‘Summer Raves’ shares after the media’s brutal attack on rave/ecstasy culture via the “EDC aftermath”?

Are you planning on investing in thousands of vuvuzelas in anticipation for chillwave’s embracement of the alt/ethnic instrument?

Are you stuck in a quandary (A QUANDARY) over how to earn back all the money you lost on MGMT in the post-Congratulations nightmarish economic state that we live in?

(inspiration for this museum entry comes from the grand work of teenagejesus)

Look At This F***ing Blipster of the Day:

Jaden Smith (a lil human birthed by Jada Pinkett, with some help from Will Smith) and a blipstered-to-the-max ladyfriend (aka his baby sister Willow) walk the red carpet at his ‘Karate Kid’ movie premiere.  

Wish more 9 year old Afrikaan-American (we pride ourselves on political correctness) girls took example of these fashion choices.  Maybe this will be the new thing on the playground… 

Let the new tween-trying-to-be-a-blipster-trying-to-be-Rihanna-trying-to-be-M.I.A.-chic fashion trend begin.

What will Willow Smith do/wear next??

(via teenagejesus)

We’re expecting hipsters everywhere to be outraged.  Unless they aren’t perceptive enough to realize that this is a ‘cultural pun’ and not the actual leaked cover art.  And if that’s the case, enjoy.

(via jesusiseverywhere)

As we all know 2010-12 are the years when the hipster diaspora will commence. Let’s face it-rents are only going to go up in Silver Lake, Williamsburg, Green Point let alone all the hipster persecution that has recently started via urban guerilla violence against american apparel outlets. Hipsters: NYC/LA is too overpopulated by your type, go west, to the site of the future hipster movement: ARIZONA!!

Now that Arizona will be devoid of Mexis via racial profiling, there will be plenty of opportunities for young hipsters looking to make some money to buy more PBR, go to more concert festivals, own American Apparel. 

Hipsters will be the backbone of the workforce; hipsters will only take the jobs americans don’t want; the american economy will be built on the alternative dreams of displaced hipsters. 

The climate is perfect for outdoor festivals 

Plenty of ironic spots to ironically grab a burger

 Plenty of things to complain about since Arizona is actually a fucking shithole/”most livable”. 

Cacti=peyote

Coyote is the most ironic of all pets/animal companion.

 Mediocrity is my lifestyle choice. I live in Arizona. 

Thanks whatsername / hatethefuture for the following amazing caption:

‘Ultimate Hipster’ Lives On Staten Island Ferry

You can’t get much more hobo chic / nauticalternative than this.

Here’s to you, Citizen of the World, wearing flannel and drinking PBR, curled up in a corner of that bright orange ferry boat, peering up at the stars until they’re blocked by the Verrazano, realizing that you are the ultimate New York urban dweller, begging for cigarettes every time a new passenger boards the boat, coasting back and forth past your beatnik soul’s homeland, Brooklyn, as you make your way from your mother that will never love you (Manhattan) over to the sub-urban oasis that is Staten Island, day by day, night by night… the cars and construction on the BQE are your siren song, the Battery is your Bois de Boulogne, the Gowanus on one side, Bayonne, New Jersey on the other, you are home, this is your home, this is your life.

(via austinspeaks)

This cannot go un-reblogged.  Thank you thedailywhat.

American Apparel does Winnie the Pooh-chic for the summertime.  Great for when that rumbling tummy of yours is looking extra plump from OD-ing on honey.

Oh Pooh Bear, Oh Hipster Fashion.

(via starscreamband)

Irony-resisting Chinese bicyclists have skipped the fixed-gear trend that has swept the rest of the world.

——————————————————————————

BEIJING — A multicolored messenger bag slung over one shoulder and short-brimmed hat cocked to the side, Nie Zheng parked his brakeless bike in the corner of a trendy cafe in the Beijing Central Business District before settling into a molded plastic chair to chat about his particular obsession. “It’s been a dream since I was a kid to get a bicycle like this,” the 40-year-old fashion photographer told me. “But no one sold them here.” It took nearly nine months, he said, to get a track bike he wanted sent from England in 2007.

Such devotion is something of a rarity among the fashion-conscious in China, where bicycles are simply not mainstream cool. In fact, this bike-saturated nation has—so far—managed to skip entirely what is arguably the biggest global bicycle fad in a generation: the fixed-gear.

And the absence is notable. Despite the rise in car ownership, China remains the world’s largest bike market, with 51 million sold in 2009, according to the China Bicycle Association. With so many bikes, is it really possible that, apart from a few devotees like Zheng, no one in China got the trend memo?

Fixed gears—brakeless, single-speed bicycles in which the only gear is locked in place on the back hub, so that the rider reduces speed by pedaling forward at a slower rate—have long been a staple of New York messengers. In the last 10 years or so, the urban-cowboy quality of riding without brakes, as well as the bikes’ simplicity, has made fixed gears, aka “fixies,” an increasingly common hipster accessory and a growing part of global urban style.

Irony also plays a key role, as riders deliberately opt for an expensive, often custom-made ride, with hand-built components, that is less functional than what’s available at Wal-Mart. (That is, until March, when even Wal-Mart jumped on the trend.)

It may be this last aspect that’s preventing the bikes from catching on in China. Indeed, the anemic fixie scene seems to offer an object lesson in the difficulty of marketing fashion irony here.

“There is a saying in Chinese: ‘Laugh at the poor, not the prostitutes,’ ” Juanjuan Wu, a professor at the University of Minnesota and author of Chinese Fashion From Mao to Now, told me. “Hipster fashion only really works by communicating your irony—in other words, someone needs to ‘get it.’ Hipster irony in dress would most likely be misinterpreted in Chinese society as simple poverty or weirdness.”

Nicole Fall, co-founder and trend director at Five by Fifty, an Asian trend consulting firm, agreed. “Consumers need to be in a position to reject norms or feel confident enough about their status and knowledge to be ironic,” she said. “Thus a 20-year-old New York hipster can smoke a pipe or drink a really naff drink because it’s funny, but for someone in China, many of their equivalent peers don’t have the history and past knowledge of trends to understand what has been cool in the past.”

…..

——————————————————————————

Read more of the article here: http://www.slate.com/id/2250893/

When I grow up/get younger, I wanna be a hipster.  But not just any hipster…

I wanna be a Justin Bieber hipster.  I wanna wear Justin Bieber wayfarers with Justin Bieber fur around my neck.

I wanna be a Justin-Bieber-skinny hipster.  I wanna wear Justin Bieber blue and black plaid.  I wanna have Justin Bieber teeth.

I wanna be a Justin Bieber hipster kid with a hat in multiple languages.  I wanna wear Justin Bieber shades that say “I’m 15 and I’m important dammit”.

I wanna be a Justin Bieber hipster, I wanna wear American Apparel tees with Comme de Garcons shirts with plush oversized Panda heads as my swagger.  I wanna wear Justin Bieber glasses that look like I stole them from Calvin Harris.  God damn I wanna be a Justin Bieber hipster kid.

I wanna be a Justin Bieber hipster socialite.  I wanna be taking little sips of hot B-list celebrities’ mixed drinks, just enough that Mom and Dad wont get too mad.  I wanna place my hand on Pete Wentz’ back and thank him for leaving the music industry all to me.

I wanna be a Justin Bieber Hipster Kid.  I want hipster fan art.

I wanna save the world.  I wanna be THE hipster kid.  I wanna be a Justin Bieber hipster kid.

She & Him, Neon Indian, and Grizzly Bear all get the spotlight treatment in Apple’s latest iPhone commercial.  Which leaves us wondering, has the day finally come?  Is this the day that Billboard dies?  Will the Hype Machine be resurrected in its place?

Are Zooey Deschanel and Ronald Gierhart (of Neon Indian) the new T-Pain and Christina Aguilera of popular culture?  Will music festivals replace Top 40 radio?  

Is this hypothetical future a good thing, or does its mainstream-ification “lose the appeal”?  So many questions, so few answers, watch the commercial, the link is above, Carles’ comments are below.

More jargon from thehipsterrunoff:

“Can’t believe it finally happened. A chillwave buzzband finally got ‘acknowledged’ by the mainstream iPhone commercial…” - Carles, blog creator of Hipster Runoff

p.s. In case you didn’t notice, the commercial also quickly features Owl City.  So forget everything mentioned above, nothing is changing any time soon/everything is over once again, fail.