It’s quiet.  Too quiet.  A perfect storm of new toys and real world distractions are leaving the tubes eerily silent, like an abandoned city. Where has everyone gone?

1. Setting up their tents for the midnight showing of Harry Potter?

• 2. Weeping silent tears of dread and joy at the release of the new Song of Ice and Fire novel today?

  

• 3. Trying to escape the suffocating heat that plagues a greater portion of the U.S.?

  

• 4. Prepping their costumes for Comic-Con in two weeks?

  

• 5. Playing NCAA 2012 which launched today?

  

• 6. Trying to figure out what to do with Google+ now that they have it?

  
• 

  Artist representation of the state of the Internet today.

The once-popular now-struggling-to-maintain-its-niche-in-postironic-society blog hipsterrunoff has just taken one step further to trying to make desperate appeals to viewers again (sorry kids, its not 2008 anymore) by creating an ONLINE MUSEUM.

But not just any old eMuseum… it’s titled The Museum of Modern Alt.

The Curators here at the Original Museum of Modern Artifacts would like to use this opportunity to release a statement on this wow-we-know-for-a-fact-that-Carles-has-read-Art-of-Mod-before (via a comment or two he has left for some of our posts) and-thus-this-idea-is-a-rip-off issue at hand:

We the Curators gladly welcome a new competitor eMuseum, and we applaud Carles, author of Hipster Runoff,’s efforts to make his 2008-era website a successful blog source once again.  However, the similarity of his concept to ours and a lack of any credit given to the original online museum of modern bullshit prototype presents us hard-laboring Museum staff with some definite frustration and resentment.

We feel that this unannounced unrecognized move by the HRO media consortium will leave many Museum-goers feeling bitter towards Carles.  Although we do not condone any time of direct action against the Hipster Runoff regime, we fear that escalating tensions may ensue via our loyal militants I mean Museum-goers.

Do you feel like the “reign” of HRO as the head honcho of post-irony-for-babies blogging is over?

Are you also really over the let’s-make-fun-of-American-Apparel-by-using-words-like-“yall”-and-leaving-out-vowels thing?  Do you feel like it’s all kind of been done before?

Do you prefer reading post-ironic content with actual commentary written for at least pseudo-educated people (via Art of Mod) instead of just post-ironic content with post-ironic-for-8-yr-old-internet-users commentary (via HRO)?

Isn’t The Cobra Snake over?  Didn’t Cory Kennedy get too skinny to be seen anymore and just fade into the ether, aka people finally stopped caring about what some uninteresting cokehead has to say?

Wouldn’t you rather read a blog written by an interesting cokehead than an uninteresting cokehead?

Is blogging still a ‘thing’?  When you tell your friends about Artifacts of Modernity, do you refer to it as an ‘Online Museum’ or do you just call it a blog?  When you do refer to it as an Online Museum, is it because you actually believe in its eMuseum-ness or are you simply looking to conceal your incorrect idea that its actually just a pathetic blog but you don’t want to publicize it that “oh its just some blog” kind of way?

If Museum-goers begin to protest the HRO regime, will Carles’ Sharia law-abiding military come in and squash Art of Mod by bringing into attention the fact that this Museum totally stole the asking-rhetorical-questions style of HRO itself?

All we know is that this may not end well…

The Internet is such an exciting place!  We’re glad you found it!  

Is one of these the face you often make when you’re visiting the Museum?

Can you relate to the youngest most abnormal looking girl on the left, glancing at ‘Art is Dead’ commentary with big open eyes and a smile that resembles a reaction somewhere between ‘Justin Bieber just released peen-slip pics’ and ‘I am literally a dinosaur’?

Or do you often look more the chica in the middle, checking out ‘Photos of the Day’ with a mixture of thrill, excitement, and terror?

Or are you just a preppy older bitch that wears Hollister sweaters and hangs out with younger girls while checking out stuff on the internet on your Dell laptop with a look of pure ‘I’ll pretend like I give a shit to take a good photo but I refuse to actually be interested’?

(via funkss)

(Source: baptisms)

“This is an Artifact of Modernity” Website of the Day (2/1/11):

No longer stress over figuring out what on earth you might write for that senior thesis, no longer be starved by the creative ineptness that traps you in a quarantined mine field of the unknown, no longer sit at your computer desktop when you wish you were getting laid / getting high / getting coked out instead.

Enjoy http://wonder-tonic.com/filmthesis whenever you need it.

Here is your thesis, here it is.

God bless the internet, god bless 2011, god bless us aka Hot Tub Time Machine, every one.

We, the Curators, apologize a little for how sometimes horrifically cynical we can be.  But this is one of those times where we just can’t help ourselves… there’s just too much hilarious awesomeness going on here to handle.

With Mike Myers (maybe or maybe not the beloved voice of ‘Shrek’), gays, Nascar, “beer allowances into the stands” issues, Las Vegas, and more one-liners than Steve Martin hosting an awards show, enjoy the following article about how “there’s more diversity in Middle American culture than you might think” :’(

Michael Myers grew up in Spartanburg, S.C., the middle of Nascar country, but his parents were not stock-car-racing fans, so he was not one, either. He went to his first race, the 1998 Coca-Cola 600 at Charlotte Motor Speedway, because he received free tickets.

But Myers said he became an unabashed fan over the next four or five years, and in September 2009, he started a racing Web site different from most others. Queers4Gears.com, he announced, would be an online home for gay Nascar fans.

Myers, 37, who lives in Las Vegas, is keeping his day job as a sales manager. But his Web site has found a modest audience of race fans, gay and straight. He said the site had averaged about 2,000 unique visitors a month.

(Myers is on the left)

“Nascar has more fans who are accepting of me being gay than gays have been accepting of me being a Nascar fan,” Myers said in a recent telephone interview.

(That is probably the best line in the whole interview, and the most honest line by far)

He still wants gay racing fans to know they are not alone. In fact, he made what he thought was Nascar history by arranging a ticket discount for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender fans to Sunday’s Sprint Cup race at Phoenix International Raceway.

“Just that alone, just sticking that on the Web site, says volumes to the gay community,” Myers said.

The deal, which is available to anyone through Queers4Gears, is among about 200 group ticket specials for the race weekend, said Paul Corliss, a track spokesman. About 50 to 100 people were expected to take advantage of the discount, which ranged from $7 to $18 a ticket, depending on seat location. For some, it may be an introduction to Nascar racing.

“As race promoters, we are always interested in opportunities to reach potential fans and introduce them to the excitement of our Nascar events,” Corliss said.

The ticket offer was a triumph of sorts for Myers, who as a part-time journalist is trying to get the word out to gay Nascar fans that they are not alone.

It is no secret that attendance at Sprint Cup races is lagging. Tracks are becoming more creative: Richmond International Raceway, for example, will allow fans to carry in soft-sided coolers that hold up to 36 beverage cans next season; the previous limit was six cans.

Nascar applauded Phoenix’s ticket offer through Queers4Gears, which Myers began to arrange when he was at the track in the spring to cover a Sprint Cup race for his site.

Andrew Giangola, a Nascar spokesman, said: “Nascar is a sport open to everyone, and we market it very broadly, as opposed to specific demographic segments. For example, while women make up 40 percent of the Nascar fan base, we position the sport more generally to all sports fans and would-be fans.” ….

He acknowledges that gay male race fans are attracted to stock car drivers the way straight female race fans are, but his agenda seems to be much simpler.

Race fans, no matter their sexual preference, just like to watch races.

“I’m not there to ask drivers about what they think about gay marriage,” Myers said. “I’m there to ask them about racing.”

Zing!

Thank god for the internet.

No parent is perfect.  

And it’s by no means easy to raise kids.

And sometimes, in very unfortunate situations, being a parent becomes no longer possible or feasible.

Which is why it’s so great to know that instead of just abandoning their child, parents can now turn to the glory of the Internet to sell their unwanted sun/daughter.  
This brings us to an unidentified man who goes by Rick, who as of February has been posting on the popular buying/selling website Craigslist looking for people to buy his son Gavin.

So… assuming you went on to Craigslist to search for a new son to add to your family, does Gavin seem like a good purchasing opportunity?

But how do you know if Gavin is really a great kid?  How do you know if Gavin would be right for your family?  How do you know what his unique interests are?

Ah, good to know.  But refusing to eat vegetables??  Guess he’ll just have to be trained better to finish all those brussel sprouts.  But now that you know this, are you curious about what else he refuses to do?  Can you tell whether he’s easy to handle?  Do you think he’s whiney, annoying, irritable?  Do you think he can be disciplined?

Oh, word.  Thanks for sharing your parenting techniques with us, Rick.  You’re clearly doing a good job there, although the fact that you’re posting to sell your own son on Craigslist is a little fishy… but nothing too out of the blue I suppose.

Anything else you want to share with us potential buyers, Rick?

Aw, how sweet.  This really shows that Rick cares.

So, after reviewing these posts more thoroughly, do you think you might want to buy Gavin??  Or would you rather just stick to shopping for used Bose headphones and perusing for summer jobs that require you to take your bra off…

Ultimately, it’s just nice to know that there are so many different things available to buy, sell, and discover on Craigslist.  And don’t forget about the “Missed connections”!

Welcome to Chatroulette.  We’ll let the NY Times provide you with some social commentary to get you started:

Nothing can really prepare you for the latest online phenomenon, Chatroulette.

The social Web site, created just three months ago by a 17-year-old Russian named Andrey Ternovskiy, drops you into an unnerving world where you are connected through webcams to a random, fathomless succession of strangers from across the globe. You see them, they see you. You talk to them, they talk to you. Or not. The site, which is gaining thousands of users a day and lately some news coverage, has a faddish feel, but those who study online vagaries see a glimpse into a surreal future, a turn in the direction of the Internet.

Before you rush off to your computer to try Chatroulette, it is only fair to let you know what you’re getting into. Entering Chatroulette is akin to speed-dating tens of thousands of perfect strangers — some clothed, some not.

But Chatroulette opens up so many exciting opportunities for all of us!  Let’s explore some of those now:

Welcome to Chat Roulette, a whole new way to “be anonymous” and mess with people on the internet.

Show off your special talents!

You’ll get to enjoy lots of new and exciting experiences.

Find people who you have lots in common with.

It’s a great way to randomly catch a familiar face.

Who knows, you might just get to flash your favorite tween stars??

Maybe you’ll find someone just as pathetically lonely and bored as you are!

Connect with people that you’ve only heard about but never knew were actually real.

You can make a person’s day, just by giving them a nice ol compliment.

There’s so much to learn about in the world, and what a better way to learn than seeing it for yourself, right on your own laptop?