It’s been dying for so many months now, we’re sad to see that the end of its life has finally come.
(Source: tastefullyoffensive)
Wow, New York Post, you’ve really outdone yourself this time.
(This is really what the NY Post front page looks like)
So glad we’re bringing Alex Rodriguez / baseball references into the death of the dictator of Libya…
Remember journalism? No? Neither do we.
(via yeahiwasintheshit)
(Source: itsthe90s)
The moral compass of magazines remains in tact except the exact opposite of that as Us Weekly publishes this story of how Jessica Alba’s kick-ass ultra-chic post-baby weight loss plan is starving herself (aka having a full blown eating disorder, aka anorexia-chic, aka harming-my-body-is-so-in-vogue).
#itgetsworse: As you can see, they featured this story under the Healthy Lifestyle section of their magazine.
(The magazine has since moved this exciting body-image-rapefest-of-a-story to the Celebrity News section, which means that it’s all okay now.)
(via bobbyfinger)
Some reporter has clearly angered the Lord Almighty…
This is excerpts from the upcoming interview the Lord Savior Jesus Gaga did with NME magazine, and She is not pleased with the “Born This Way is a ripoff of Madonna’s ‘Express Yourself’ (even though honestly they hardly sound that alike except for when Gaga’s talking at the end)” bullshit that this reporter is clearly spewing at her, goddamit!
(Reaches for Marilyn Monroe lighter) I need a colonic.
(via -t-e-e-n-a-g-e-j-e-s-u-s-)
(Source: onafuturetipteenjesus)
Girl Scouts Try to Spread Joy & Make Money, Their Cookies Instead Lead to Brutal Roommate Assault
(The Museum originally found this story from TIME Magazine online, but then noticed at the end of TIME’s article that they had actually just ripped the story from Gawker. So, basically, that’s the state of journalism today, just to inform everyone. Here’s the story you actually came here to read though, actually via Gawker):
Introducing, the THIN MINT THROWDOWN:
Like so many of us, Naples, Fla. resident Hersha Howard is guilty of loving Girl Scouts Thin Mints cookies. She is also, according to Naples deputies, guilty of brutally attacking her roommate, for taking her Thin Mints.
Jasmine Wanke (the roommate) apparently gave the Thin Mints to Howard’s children; this does not seem to have been an acceptable excuse to Howard, who allegedly “struck [Wanke] in the face,” threatened Wanke with scissors, “picked up a board and struck” Wanke, bit Wanke “in the breast,” and, after Wanke attempted to flee outside, perhaps as a kind of grand finale, “picked up a sign and struck Wanke with it several times.”
Some of you reading this are likely shocked; others of you are nodding along and thinking, “this is what happens when you take someone’s Thin Mints.”
Malaysian Online Newspaper Competes with The Trentonian for ‘This Shit is Ridiculous/not Journalism’
…Because you’re never too old of a lady (108) to marry a 38 year old drug addict and want to conceive a child together despite the fact that this is biologically impossible… also it’s her 23rd husband but who’s counting… Enjoy.
—
Nek Wook wants a baby
KUALA TERENGGANU, Malaysia: Centenarian Wook Kundor and her 23rd husband Mohd Noor Che Musa, who were reunited on Thursday, are now looking towards a blissful married life by adding a third member to their family – a child.
In a telephone interview with The Star yesterday, Mohd Noor said he was eager to fulfil his 108-year-old wife’s wish to have the “patter of little feet” running around their kampung house.
“We tried (to have a baby) earlier but my wife’s age factor was an obstacle.
“So, we decided to adopt a baby, preferably a boy,” said the 38-year-old who was just released from the Besut drug rehabilitation centre after undergoing 18 months of treatment.
Happy together: Mohd Noor holding Wook Kundor after reuniting with her in Tanah Merah on Friday.
Mohd Noor said he felt that the presence of a child would turn their home in Kampung Bukit Tok Bat in Kuala Berang here even merrier.
“We talked about having a child and Nek Wook (Wook Kundor) agrees that we should adopt one as soon as possible,” he added.
Mohd Noor said that on their way back from Pasir Mas, Kelantan, yesterday, his wife pointed out to him a shop selling mittens and baby products.
“When I looked at her gesture, I realised that she badly wanted a baby,” he said, adding that they would prefer a toddler as he would be easier to take care of.
“I can’t expect my wife to be running around at her age when I have to work to fend for my family,” he said.
Mohd Noor, however, said they had no qualms about accepting a newborn.
“We are willing to accept babies who are born out of wedlock.
“Rather than abandon a newborn, give him to us and we promise to care of the child,” he said, adding that he was even willing to arrange for private meetings with parents intending to give up their babies for adoption.
Wook Kundor had refused to talk about her previous marriages and children in earlier interviews.
Asked about his months of separation from his wife, Mohd Noor said he missed Wook Kundor and regretted his past actions.
“She asked me to kick my drug habit but I was too obstinate then,” he said, adding that he had neglected Wook Kundor’s needs before his detention.
“I am now a changed man and cherish every moment with my wife,” he added.
The union between Wook Kundor and her much younger bridegroom five years ago grabbed worldwide media attention.
However, Mohd Noor was detained for drug abuse early last year, causing Wook Kundor to move to her relative’s home in Pasir Mas as her own house in Kuala Berang was unsafe.
After Mohd Noor was detained, Wook Kundor spoke of her loneliness without her husband.
thedailywhat brings us another piece of journalistic perfection.
Self-Writing Story of the Day: I hope someone got fired over the fact that this isn’t on the front page.
This is Post-Irony, presented by the New York Post and the Too-Hot-to-Be-a-Banker Girl
“Hey Bank Hottie… Your 15 Minutes of Fame are up!…”
…and thus we’re featuring you on the front cover.
Welcome to post-Irony: a place where everything consciously contradicts itself.
P.S. If you’ve never taken a look at the “F*** Yeah Journalism (sarcasm)” Exhibit here at the Museum, now might be a good time.
Newsweek magazine is bankrupt and up for sale. Here’s proof:
In one final and glorious attempt to generate some buzz and become a viable meme once again, tanking publication Newsweek magazine is set to release the following cover on next week’s edition:
And here’s an excerpt from the corresponding article:
“To white evangelical women, Sarah Palin is a modern-day prophet, preaching God, flag, and family—while remaking the religious right in her own image.”
Let rampant hyperbole ring!
