In Case You Missed It of the Day/In case you need more ammo to add to your argument that auto-tuning is the worst thing that’s ever happened to music: Auto-Tune the wolves.

The human voice < pitch-corrected animal howls.

(via thedailywhat)

Introducing to you today a new band that just might be iconic/ironic/erotic enough to sweep the world off its feet…  

Background info: They are from Finland.  They are heavy metal band.  They are specifically a heavy metal band for children.  And they only appear in public as dinosaurs.

Watch out GaGa…    Their name is HEVISAURUS.

This in all honesty seems easily marketable in the 2010’s.

Get ready to rockkkkkk. 

Enjoy one of their hit songs below:

(thank you so much juliasegal)

The Museum’s ‘Sounds of Postmodernism’ exhibit expands today to include the ‘Sounds of Post-Irony (or, Post-Post-Modernism)’, which it does with the above rare sound clip…

Thoughts/feelings:

Is this song merely a parody of itself?  Does this mp3 function as a ‘throwback’ to another era?  

Are you embarrassed by this tune?  or is your self-confidence so strong/so broken that you’re willing to sing it with all your heart and soul every time its played at your favorite breakfast diner?

Is anything done with legitimacy anymore? or is this anthem’s current purpose solely for Irony’s sake?

Somewhere-between-Former-and-Current tweenstar Miley Destiny Hope Cyrus has just released a music video for her upcoming single, “Can’t Be Tamed”.  

Warning: in the video, she plays a pre-historic bird.  Also, the video depicts her as being featured in a museum, which is why we find it especially fitting to be included in this Museum.

Enjoy the following example of teenage developmental growth (via Milezz):

Three cheers for pop culture acknowledgement of the importance and value of museums everywhere!

The Curators would like to pseudo-apologize to The Daily What for copying so much of what they post into our own museum, but the above video shall not go unheard.

thedailywhat:

Classical Cover of the Day: Aston, a group of musicians from Sydney best known for their classical renditions of chart-topping pop songs, perform a highbrow arrangement of Lady Gaga’s “Telephone.”

Ride the Chill wave.

Welcome to 2010, the year that all music can and will be divided into either “Chill wave” or “AutoTune” with a subgenre of “GaGa”.

The Artifacts of Modernity Online Museum would like to continue its efforts to reach out to the teen/tween community by bringing you this very 2011-meets-1998-meets-“The fact that this could be made any year is disgusting” music video.

It’s the first “big hit” by former Cheetah Girl Kiely Williams.

It’s called “Spectacular”.  According to Kiely, she claims that she’s “an actress”, and that she she wrote the song “to bring attention to a serious women’s health and safety issue.” 

Please watch and see if you concur with any of the above statements.

And as you’re watching/debating watching, you probably don’t even know who this girl is.  Which is understandable, but we’d like to take this moment to fill you in on a piece of tweenPop culture that has no important relevance to your life.  

But remember this girl? :

The one that always looked like she had messed up teeth?  The one who used to be in the band 3LW?  The one who actually stayed in the “Cheetah Girls” project throughout its entire run?  

Do any of these early-mid 2000’s tween cultural references mean anything to you?  Were you a Disney Channel obsessed child?  Did you often babysit for kids who were “into this culture”?  Were you that Mom who ran to Target before it opened to buy the new Cheetah Girls soundtrack for your future-homosexual 8 year old son?

Regardless of whether you identify with this or not, this music video is just too career-destructive to not inform you of… Enjoy.

This is a cross between Art, New cultural implications on historical events, Religiosity, and all in all a big ol LOLfest.

Secretly hoping that Jesus (maybe Je$us?) was spinning some Deadmau5’s “Ghosts n Stuff” and beginning to work in some David Guetta or Die Antwoord (if he was hoping for alternative/zef cred) to scratch up a really sick nasty remix.

What track(s) do you think Jesus may have been layin’ down at this Last Supper RAVE?

The Artifacts of Modernity Online Museum has been, for nearly a year now, providing social commentary on the daunting issues of modern culture and its implications on society for the entire world wide web to see and experience.

But starting today, we feel that it is important to go beyond our mere role of ‘cultural commentator’ and for the first time ever extend ourselves to those in need.  For too long we have sat by and watched as others faced dark, daunting and twisted scenarios that the bizarre-ness of the Modern Cultural Era had imposed upon them.  But no longer can we remain silent.  It’s time to start helping others and start giving back.

We begin today by helping a very loyal fan of the Museum, whatsername, as she faces one of the most bizarre scenarios of her newly-blossoming music career (but actually).

whatsername explains:

this is not a joke. 

i am playing on the same bill as t-pain on saturday.

someone tell me how to feel about this.

(Whatsername’s real name is listed second-to-the-bottom on the right-hand side, just to give you some context.  To give you more context, Whatsername’s music style is cool/cute indie singer-songwriter pop… T-Pain’s is clearly not.)

And so, the Curators of the Museum are here to tell her, and everyone else, how to feel about this:

1. You, whatsername, should feel glorified.  The Auto-tune Gods are clearly on your side and want you to share in their T-Pain-filled spotlight.  The Billboard-charts Yahweh has opened his arms wide for you to step inside and receive a nice pat on the back for the work you’ve done so far to reach this day.  The Top-40 Heavens will be accidentally shining light on you, so let yourself bask in its humid and smelly glow.

2. You, whatsername, should feel perturbed and slightly angered.  The fact that your musical talent is being written in small letters at the bottom of a flyer that spells “T-Pain” in white caps size (at least) 48 is fairly shameful.  The fact that the school you chose to attend endorses and supports this kind of mediocrity high above your giftedness is reason to be disturbed.  The fact that Mr. Pain will be receiving a very large sum of money for his involvement in this “Spr(u)ng Fling Concert” while you will probably be asked to help clean up Solo Cups from the Quad after the show is frustrating indeed.

However, ultimately, 3. You, whatsername, should be laughing hysterically and then shrugging your shoulders and smiling.  For in case you didn’t already realize that ‘major record label-driven music industry’ is a huge joke, you do now.  And at the end of the day, that shit’s hilarious.  And ultimately, who do you know reveres themselves to be a T-Pain fan?  Yes, his auto-tuned tracks might fill the radio-is-dying airwaves, get featured in crap blockbuster movies, and be adjustable on an iPhone/iPad App.  But does he have real legitimate authentic I-care-about-the-artist-as-a-person fans?  Pshhh. 

Ultimately, this is how the mainstream machine works.  This is how revenue-streams-based culture/art/music in 2010 works.  Be grateful that you A. aren’t part of it, and B. don’t have to scrutinize and dissect it for the Internet’s sake every single day (that’s where we come in).  So laugh at the silliness of it all, shrug off yet another cultural fallacy, and smile upon the fact that this retardedness is, in a big way, giving you the chance to get your talent-driven music out there this weekend.

—-

We hope you, whatsername, and the rest of the World Wide Web community, enjoyed this long but passionate column of sentiment and advice.  And we wish you, Natalie, a kick ass auto-tuned-or-not show this Saturday.

Shameless-promotional-plug-goes-here: And if you, Guest of the Museum, ever have a culture-ridden issue that you need the Museum’s opinion / advice on, simply ask us at ArtifactsofModernity.com/ask.