Oh, like you’ve never tried to use a McFlurry as a valid proof of ID to the cops as your car is about to explode but you’re too drunk to realize it…

Everybody has those days.

Thanks for sharing this with us, “the news”.

(Source: iraffiruse)

And lord knows he or she will go on to do great things in life…

#FightOn.

(via comf0rtably-numb)

(Source: jmonsterbby)

The Museum is proud to bring you this edition of designs for “an intellectual and artful departure from the world” by featuring this sketch of a “hypothetic euthanasia machine in the form of a roller coaster, engineered to humanely – with elegance and euphoria – take the life of a human being.”

This is Art is Dead, literally.  Or maybe it’s a new remix to the remix that we should start curating about called “Art is Death” - whaddya think?

newsweek:

discoverynews:

Suicide by Roller Coaster

The 3-minute ride involves a long, slow, climb — nearly a third of a mile long — that lifts one up to a height of more than 1,600 feet, followed by a massive fall and seven strategically sized and placed loops. The final descent and series of loops take all of one minute. But the 10g force from the spinning loops at 223 mph in that single minute is lethal.

More

The creator, Designer/Artist Julijonas Urbonas, tells Discovery he doesn’t see his suicide machine as being about death, but as “an intellectual and artful departure from the world.”

‘Cuz there’s beauty in a breakdown.

Let us never forget today’s horrific earthquake that left the East Coast paralyzed in a state of fear, panic, disorder and a broken champagne glass here or there.

Also, to those of you whose plastic flamingoes were knocked down in your front yards today… our prayers and thoughts are with you.

(via whatsername)

It never ends, never.

God bless our infatuation with oversexed children/white girl murder mysteries/media campaigns aimed at hyperbolizing “parent-killers” and turning every action they do into 5-o’clock news/our lady of peace JonBenet.

P.S. Sorry you got dragged into this, Dolly.

“I walk a lonely road, the only road that I have ever known….”

Poor Mei Xiang is having a hard day as zoologists at her beloved home, the National Zoo in Washington D.C., report that she’s experiencing her sixth false pregnancy in a row.

DCist has more:

It’s another year, another false pregnancy for the National Zoo’s giant panda duo. The Zoo has announced that female giant panda Mei Xiang is not with cub, and the 24-hour pregnancy watch which has been on for the last several weeks has been called off.

As has been the case for several years running now, Mei Xiang was experiencing a “pseudopregnancy,” in which her hormone levels were indicative of an impending Butterstick. But despite pacing around her den and a changing diet, Mei “stopped allowing animal keepers to perform ultrasound exams on her in early July.”

It’s Mei’s sixth false pregnancy. Next year is probably her last chance to produce a cub. Cubs born in the United States get to stay for four years; Mei Xiang and the Zoo’s male giant panda, Tian Tian, will be in Washington until 2015.

Or maybe Mei Xiang is just a big Amy Winehouse fan.

Either way, remember that if you happen to be having a sad day today, Mei Xiang is right there with ya.  

#downinthedumps #theMuseumlovespandas #newsstoriesaboutanimals = postmodern

#RIPamywinehouse #RIPpandaembryo

Do we need to say more?

Oh yeah, she was from Texas.  Visiting her family in Mississippi.  (#MakesMoreSenseNow)

Here for your reading pleasure is the yikes-worthy tale that sounds like an amazing Lifetime movie just waiting to happen / get the life rights secured away.

JACKSON, Miss. — Police in Mississippi say a Texas woman opened fire on a puppy that had threatened children, but wound up shooting and killing her husband.

Witnesses tell police that the pit bull named “Cocaine” had lunged at some children and tried to attack them on Friday. The dead man’s son says the children were taken inside and his father picked the dog up.

It was then that police say Betty Walker fired twice, hitting the dog once and her husband once in the chest. Jackson police spokeswoman Colendula Green says the death of 53-year-old Robert Walker appears to have been accidental.

Mr and Mrs Walker of Houston, Texas were visiting their son Robert Walker Jr and grandchildren at his South Jackson, Mississippi home.

She says a Hinds County grand jury will decide whether to charge Betty Walker.

Animal control officers have taken the dog, and its owner could face charges.

P.S. Best part?  The dog lived.

Bonus footage: Here’s the dog’s home.  Thanks, news, for making sure we got to see it.
 

If you don’t get this reference, you’re better for it.

(Pop culture) Ignorance is bliss (in 2011) (, especially when it pertains to Nancy Grace or anything 24-hour-news-cycle-related) (, although Anderson Cooper is kind of a boss but whatever.)

(via -ryan)

(Source: pie0)

Here’s what’s “trending now” according to Time Inc.’s “News Feed”.  God everything in that list and this sentence sucks.

(Which is worse: That America is currently focused on Casey Anthony or on hot dogs?)

(via mildlyamused)

(Source: cognitivedissonance)

Another day, another “should you really be going into U.S. politics???” artifact at the ol’ Museum.  Here’s Frankie Muniz aka Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle aka NASCAR race car driver (yes, that’s what he’s been up to for the last several years) aka “didn’t you pull a gun on your girlfriend a few months ago?”…  

Enjoy (via StarPulse (what is that even?)):

Frankie Muniz is planning a move into politics - the actor has revealed he’s preparing to run for public office.
 
The former child star, who was a hit on comedy show “Malcolm In The Middle,” told his followers on Twitter he’s planning a campaign to run for office, reportedly in his adopted state of Arizona.
 
He writes, “I’m going to be a politician. I’m running for public office. I will be announcing soon.”
 
But Muniz’s political takeover won’t be immediate - the 25 year old added “#Muniz2016” to his Twitter feed, meaning his plans won’t take place for another five years.

The actor made headlines in February after an altercation with his girlfriend Elycia Turnbow, during which he reportedly held a loaded gun to his head.

Muniz’s rep subsequently slammed reports he was suicidal and insisted a “gun played no part” in the feud.

Do you feel safer / better about potentially voting for Frankie Muniz as god-knows-what of the great state of Arizo… (it’s honestly too comical to even write that sentence out) now that his publicist says that a gun played no part in his feud with his girlfriend?

Good thing Justin Bieber is a Canadian citizen (not like not being a U.S. citizen has stopped anyone before).

#Muniz2016