The genetic nature of the XY-bearing human (which we generally refer to as a “man”) has probably not changed much over the last thousands of years, but the role of Man has clearly changed some, especially in the last few decades.

As cult groups such as the Spice Girls and Former Supreme Court Justice Ruth Ginsberg have come and gone throughout the last century, they and others have vastly changed the social spectrum of the role of women in society, thus directly affecting the role of men.

So what does it mean to “be a man” today?  What is masculinity’s role nowadays in the 2k’s?  What is the ideal form and function of the Male?

Here are some of the ideals we’ve compiled by analyzing the greatest example of Man that we know today, Bristol Palin’s baby’s daddy, Sarah Palin’s ex-almost-son-in-law, the one and only Levi Johnston.

Being a “jock” and partaking in sports / athletic activities (via Levi Johnston).

Being able to express & illustrate your power and strength/”not being a pussy” (via guns) (via Levi Johnston).

Being able to “make a case for yourself” to the public (via the lowest-rated 24 hr news network in the US) (via Levi Johnston).

Knowing how to care for a child (via Levi Johnston).

Being able to “be crazy”, but associating yourself with people crazier than you to diminish your level of insanity (via Levi Johnston and the horrifying interesting Kathy Griffin).

Caring / pretending to care for the elderly (via Levi Johnston).

Being a “chill bro” who you can hang out with/bang after school (via Levi Johnston and Bristol).

Showing your “sensitive”/”nurturing” side when its convenient to do so (via Levi Johnston).

Being marketable/datable/profitable (via Levi Johnston).

Having some form of protection (via Levi Johnston).

Not having some form of protection (via Levi Johnston and baby Trigg).

Watch out Lord Gaga, there’s a new group of tyrannical “fighters of liberty and truth” out there who CNN/The Wall Street Journal/myspace.comNews likes to call The Birthers.

The Birthers are a collection of our beautiful American brothers and sisters who are working hard to expose the greatest hidden truth of all time: that Barack Obama is not an American citizen! (Click here for an actual copy of his birth certificate) Meaning that Barack Hussein Obama II has no legal right to be our President, thank the Lord. (Miss you Bush)

But seriously.

What’s really so captivating and wonderful about the Birthers is the supporters they’ve been brilliantly able to muster up. Love you Lou Dobbs.

What’s even better is their persuasive arguments, like the following paragraph from one popular Birthers website:
“Depending on what his long copy vault birth certificate states, this may or may not deepen the problem. If it states either of the two hospitals and the hospital records prove that he was in fact born in one of the Hawaiian Hospitals, then the location of his birth will definitely prove he is entitled to be a US Citizen in accordance to the 14th Amendment. This of course does not necessarily give him the necessary status of a natural born citizen.”

So where did this hilarious bullshit/this bourgeois fantasy begin?

Presenting: The Forefathers of the Birthers.

- Andy Martin, real name Anthony Robert Martin-Trigona (now that doesn’t sound very American, does it?). Martin is a glorious man who is widely known as one of the biggest anti-Semites in the Ame rican political arena. He is credited for being the man who launched the Obama=Muslim rumor mill all the way back in 2004 after Obama spoke at the Democratic National Convention.
In 2008, Andypants filed a lawsuit against the state of Hawaii for their “creation of a fake birth certificate.” Riiiight.

- Jerome Corsi (may we NEVER forget Jerome!), the joyous author and creator of the Swift Boat campaign against John Kerry back in the 2004 Election. With hundreds of thousands of crazy obsessed fans (no joke) ready to jump on anything he could muster up, he began writing articles galore on Obama’s big lie. Where were these articles published though?? On the world’s best news source site ever: World Net Daily. If you think this site is funny, check out World Net Daily at wnd.com right now.

My personal favorite memento from the Birthers’ official website is a plaque designed for construction at Obama’s birthplace, whenever they find out/agree on just where that is…

Until then, keep on fighting Birthers! http://www.birthers.org/