California Gov. Jerry Brown drops some truth bombs / look-at-yourselves-people knowledge as he signs State Senate Bill 769 into law.

nedhepburn:

We live in strange, strange times right now. Remind yourself of this 50 years from now when you’re tucking your grandkids into the SleepBot5000.

drinkyourjuice:

The Huffington Post is Twaining right now.

Okay, so you ended one of the most unnecessary and expensive American-fueled wars of all time…
/ Okay, so you helped to lead a covert, extremely dangerous but brilliantly organized mission that successfully killed the most wanted man in history, Osama bin Laden…
/ Okay, so you’re Barack Obama…

…Now don’t get me wrong, yeah, I think you’re alright, but that won’t keep backwards ass Americans from voting for you in the middle of the niiiiiiight….  (guitar riffs)

Twaining indeed, HuffPo.

Dennis Kucinich, being Dennis Kucinich.

#Winning?

We hope that someday our children learn this speech in their history classes when learning about ‘how to try and save America but not really in the 2010’s’.

(via thedailywhat)

(Source: sirmitchell)

Another day, another “should you really be going into U.S. politics???” artifact at the ol’ Museum.  Here’s Frankie Muniz aka Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle aka NASCAR race car driver (yes, that’s what he’s been up to for the last several years) aka “didn’t you pull a gun on your girlfriend a few months ago?”…  

Enjoy (via StarPulse (what is that even?)):

Frankie Muniz is planning a move into politics - the actor has revealed he’s preparing to run for public office.
 
The former child star, who was a hit on comedy show “Malcolm In The Middle,” told his followers on Twitter he’s planning a campaign to run for office, reportedly in his adopted state of Arizona.
 
He writes, “I’m going to be a politician. I’m running for public office. I will be announcing soon.”
 
But Muniz’s political takeover won’t be immediate - the 25 year old added “#Muniz2016” to his Twitter feed, meaning his plans won’t take place for another five years.

The actor made headlines in February after an altercation with his girlfriend Elycia Turnbow, during which he reportedly held a loaded gun to his head.

Muniz’s rep subsequently slammed reports he was suicidal and insisted a “gun played no part” in the feud.

Do you feel safer / better about potentially voting for Frankie Muniz as god-knows-what of the great state of Arizo… (it’s honestly too comical to even write that sentence out) now that his publicist says that a gun played no part in his feud with his girlfriend?

Good thing Justin Bieber is a Canadian citizen (not like not being a U.S. citizen has stopped anyone before).

#Muniz2016

It’s nice to know that it’s not just your average joe’s out there that are showing off what they got on personals search forums, such as those provided by the one and only Craigslist, the sometimes-really-helpful via “I need a new couch for my dorm” sometimes-really-ironically-hilarious via “A man wants me to come over so he can give me a BJ and then will pay me money for it” website that we all know and love.

Here we have Congressman Christopher Lee of New York State’s 26th District.  Just your average pro-“Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” anti-abortion congressman, who seems to scrutinize other peoples’ sex lives while he just muffs up his own.  Perfect.

Here’s the story (via Gawker):

Rep. Christopher Lee is a married Republican congressman serving the 26th District of New York. But when he trolls Craigslist’s “Women Seeking Men” forum, he’s Christopher Lee, “divorced” “lobbyist” and “fit fun classy guy.” One object of his flirtation told us her story.

On the morning of Friday, January 14, a single 34-year-old woman put an ad in the “Women for Men” section of Craigslist personals. “Will someone prove to me not all CL men look like toads?” she asked, inviting “financially & emotionally secure” men to reply.

That afternoon, a man named Christopher Lee replied. He used a Gmail account that Rep. Christopher Lee has since confirmed to be his own. (It’s the same Gmail account that was associated with Lee’s personal Facebook account, which the Congressman deleted when we started asking questions.)

By email, Lee identified himself as a 39-year-old divorced lobbyist and sent a PG picture to the woman from the ad. (In fact, Lee is married and has one son with his wife. He’s also 46.)  Here’s what he had to say:

Hi,

Hope I’m not a toad. :) i’m a very fit fun classy guy. Live in Cap Hill area. 6ft 190lbs blond/blue. 39.. Lobbyist. I promise not to disappoint.

Lee’s Craigslist correspondent—a government employee from Maryland who asked not to be identified—liked what she saw. She replied flirtatiously. He replied with a PG-13 muscle picture. (See below)

By modern day standards, the conversation was relatively banal: No prostitutes, escorts, or madams were involved. Just good old fashioned lying and an apparent willingness to cheat on one’s wife.

Read more via Gawker’s article on the kinda-wrong kinda-funny kinda-pathetic kinda-wish-it-was-juicier-than-this hot mess.

Well this is seriously all kinds of horrible, but what else would we expect from the world’s worst person’s political action committee, Sarah Palin’s SarahPac.

Here, Sarah Palin encourages her followers to ‘take a stand’ against Democrats represented by rifle crosshairs / gun aim points, one of which is at none other than Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (who, in case you’re super uninformed, was shot earlier today in her home state of / worst place on earth Arizona and remains in critical condition).

Note: The Museum of Modern Artifacts apologizes that it has to focus its energy on shedding light on the horrors and backwards-ness of hate politics, and would much rather bring you ‘news’ on how Heidi Montag’s latest plastic surgery went or on Miley Cryus bong hits, but this is sadly a piece of our post-postmodern world which we cannot ignore.

(via bigopinion)

(Source: psykopsyke)

It’s here, it’s here!  The trailer for the documentary that you didn’t know was coming but should’ve known was coming…   presenting: DAMN!, a film all about Jimmy McMillan and his run for the Governor of the State of New York through his ‘Rent is 2 Damn High’ Party campaign / platform.

Here’s a notable blurb about the film:

Thanks to 91 intrepid investors, filmmakers Aaron Fisher-Cohen and Kristian Almgren received just enough funding over Thanksgiving to finish editing their McMillan-centric documentary, DAMN!

Their goal now is to finish the editing process in the next couple of months, with eyes on debuting the film at SXSW in March. But won’t the Jimmy McMillan hype-machine be out of gas by the time 2011 arrives, if it isn’t sputtering on fumes already?
“Great art is often timeless,” Cohen wrote. “I don’t expect Jimmy McMillan to be very popular upon the release, but I don’t think that will hinder our story, or who he is as a person, which is what will make this film great.” [Movieline]

“Great art is often timeless” is clearly the perfect description of not only this film but of the entire Jimmy McMillan / “Rent is 2 Damn High Party” / “NY State Governor’s race” / “the state of politics in America” story.

We are delighted to introduce you to RagingElephants.org, an all-black Republica-party coalition who continues to bring irony, discomfort, and “diversity for diversity’s sake” magic to the Good Ol’ Party, the Palin Choo Choo Train that is the Tea Party Inc., and to American politics.

Does the above billboard make you want to vote G.O.P.?  Does the tacky font make you want to support the conservative agenda?  
Is it blatantly sexist that the two men in the billboard are wearing suits while the women kinda look like sluts/pornstars?

Can we just write this whole thing off as an ironic joke? 

We’d like to leave you with another one of RagingElephant.org’s brilliant billboard advertisements.  Enjoy:

Welcome, scholars and museum-goers one and all, to the big top circus that is Wasilla, Alaska!, the new official Capital of Political Post-Irony, USA.

A place where media mediocrity meets middle-america mayhem meets political backwardsness via the glory of Tea Party fundamentalists…

A town that nearly every American knows of, yet is only a few thousand people small and is hardly going to become a tourist icon anytime soon (well I take that back… who knows, maybe it’ll be considered a religious site someday) as it’s only destination is the Shoot Em Up Tavern Mug Shot Saloon.

But the future looks bright for Wasilla (no it doesn’t) as, as you’ve probably heard, Dr. Levi Johnston, America’s favorite baby daddy and Playgirl pornstar, is running for Mayor in the 2011 Election!

Oh wait that’s not the picture we planned on using for this story, whoops.

There, that’s better.  I mean, we’ve always said that the Teen Choice Awards Red Carpet is a great place to check out potential future mayoral candidates.

Here is an official press release from Entertainment Tonight / Levi’s peeps on the matter:

Levi confirms he is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska and he’s ready to talk about his plans. On his intention to run for his hometown’s highest office, he says “It’s for real. I’m going to go there and do what I can. Obviously that’s where I grew up and that’s my home. It’s always going to be home to me. [My son] Tripp’s going to grow up there and I want to change a few things.”

When the opportunity first came to him, he says, “I laughed, but the more and more I thought about it the more and more I looked into things. I do care and I do want to make a difference. Whether I win or not, I want Tripp to look up to me and see what I’ve done and be proud of his Dad.”

Sadly, according to recent polls, not only is his run for Mayor not going so well in Wasilla, but his popularity all over Alaska is not so hot (which frankly we don’t really believe since he’s so perfect and seems so good for Alaska).

Apparently, Johnston’s current approval rating (even though he’s not in office yet but hey, apparently it’s okay to give him an approval rating anyway) is a bleak 6 percent.

But come on, people!  Chip up, Alaskans!

We here at the Museum are guessing that the rational for this extremely low approval rating is that Wasillans are pissed that nothing is getting done under his watch, because they probably assume that he is already in office.

And to be honest, after what we saw with ex-mom-in-law Sarah, we’re gonna go ahead and assume that he’s already in office too.

We’re very excited to continue to bring you news and updates on Levi Johnston’s noble run to A. get a high school diploma, B. make a political career, and then C. become Mayor of Wasilla.  Unless Levi was just referring to Foursquare… dammit.

Either way, we’ll look forward to seeing him in this office soon enough:

See Secretary of State Hillary Clinton (you may have heard of her) above in the beautiful region of Kosovo, waving in front of a statue of some historical figure important to the region of Kosovo also waving.

Oh wait, oh my gosh no, that’s… that’s Bill Clinton!  The 42nd President of the United States!  And wait oh oh oh my gooooodness… Hillary is his wife!

This is so cute I could cry.  

Miss you former Yugoslavia / Milosevic / Balkan madness / other things that are “so 1999”.

(via brooklynmutt)