Remember when sex was taboo? Remember when television commercials showed respect? Remember when the zoo was a fun place to visit?
Well, Calvin Klein, underwear’s Messiah, has changed that. He’s asking some new questions:
Oh, how times have changed. In this series of commercials, which appeared on popular websites like Hulu, Calvin defies tradition by shoving sexual images in our faces (and better yet, they’re all hot men.) His models curse at us, their muscles evoke feelings of fear and lust, and their bulges protrude from their boxer briefs. Never before has advertising so violently told us that we want a product. Never before has the fashion industry yelled to its consumers about dicks. Never before has Calvin been so brilliant!!
We used to be concerned with decency. Now, we live in a world where the questions are different: Do you wanna see my dick? Are you sure you don’t wanna see my dick? Is it weird that I have an erection during the It’s Always Sunny commercial breaks on Hulu?
But Calvin has done more than just change the way people approach lust. Why focus only on humans when there are so many other corruptible living things out there? Take large cats, for example:
The Wall Street Journal has reported that Calvin Klein’s fragrance, Obsession for Men, has made jaguars and tigers at the Bronx Zoo go nutty.
“To wine and dine Sasha, a 450-pound Siberian tiger at the Bronx Zoo, try serving beef and rabbit. To lure him for a snack, whip out the frozen treats his zookeepers call “bloodcicles.” But to really get his olfactory engines running, you need the secret weapon: Calvin Klein’s Obsession for Men.”
Great! I was wondering what I should get my pet jaguar for X-mas!! Now I know what to buy!
“”Oh, yeah, he loves that scent,” Mr. Thomas said as Sasha blissfully cuddled up to a tree sprayed with Obsession for Men. “Just look at him.”“
If I spray the trees in my yard with Obsession for Men, will hoards of beautiful women swarm to my property?
Calvin’s revolution continues. Is his goal to turn the world into a giant orgy? Does he want to encourage the breeding a half-human-half-tiger super being? Does he want children to be violated by large felines at the zoo? Is he going to develop a fragrance called Obsession for Cats? Will he develop Obsession for Trees? Whatever he’s trying to do, it seems to be working:
“Obsession for Men launched in 1986, just as the Calvin Klein brand was pushing the boundaries of sexuality in advertising. Early ads typically featured nude models and little else. Today, it remains among the Top 10 best-selling men’s fragrances world-wide. The cologne, which is made and marketed under license by privately held Coty Inc., posted sales of about $85.5 million last year”
Do jaguars use credit cards?
For the whole article, go here: http://tinyurl.com/29jnlj7
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(Submitted by a loyal museum-goer / special guest curator)
