It’s time to bring this back.

Hoping I never have to leave my house again so I can virtually bike ride around a friendly suburban neighborhood, or a sunny and non-threatening forest, or Colonial Williamsburg.

Maybe soon they’ll start selling the ‘Hood Life’ version where you get to bike faster if you see someone in baggy clothes and of the opposite race approaching.  Or maybe this will just be standard in the ‘Philadelphia’ version.

(via fashionofthechrist)

The Museum is a proud supporter of these fairly compact paper products that have been around for a lot of years that contain lots of words that you can read… they’re called books or something.

And you can find them at your local, uhhh, iBookstore.  No thats not it, ummm, oh! library!  That’s it, your local library.  We’re not sure if your local community still has that, and by local community, we mean where you live, like in a house, not like your local Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/Xanga community.

But seriously kids, reading books is cool!

Missy knows all too well… (does she though?)

I guess what we’re getting at here is:  Does this kind of in-your-face pro-library anti-Apple ‘cool posters’ marketing make you want to go read books?  Or does it just turn you off even more to a dying pre-2k10’s trend.

Are you down to “catch the reading bug”?  Or does this make you feel like you’re gonna get influenza / some creepy venereal disease / sexually transmitted infection if you go to the library in the hot summer months?

Does this HOT DAMN FIRE BLAZIN get your attention and make you wanna bury into a good book at the library?  Or are you, like we, just kind of scared and confused and frantically pacing around to find the nearest fire extinguisher?

Are you frantically running out your front door and into the car to get to your library ASAP so you can ‘get some’ in the middle of some bookstacks while simultaneously showering (?) with someone fairly attractive?  aka, Are you turned on right now?

Also, upon careful review, the Museum has come to the dynamic conclusion that these are, in fact, two people of what we believe to be the same gender.  And thus, is this a specific ploy to get the GLBTQWTF-community more excited about libraries?  Is this alienating the heterosexual book-lover population?  So many questions, so few answers.

Do you find yourself wanting to go to your local library more or less after seeing these anti-Kindle propaganda posters…

P.S. Bonus anti-iPad propaganda below:

(via fartdstfatrtsfarts)

No parent is perfect.  

And it’s by no means easy to raise kids.

And sometimes, in very unfortunate situations, being a parent becomes no longer possible or feasible.

Which is why it’s so great to know that instead of just abandoning their child, parents can now turn to the glory of the Internet to sell their unwanted sun/daughter.  
This brings us to an unidentified man who goes by Rick, who as of February has been posting on the popular buying/selling website Craigslist looking for people to buy his son Gavin.

So… assuming you went on to Craigslist to search for a new son to add to your family, does Gavin seem like a good purchasing opportunity?

But how do you know if Gavin is really a great kid?  How do you know if Gavin would be right for your family?  How do you know what his unique interests are?

Ah, good to know.  But refusing to eat vegetables??  Guess he’ll just have to be trained better to finish all those brussel sprouts.  But now that you know this, are you curious about what else he refuses to do?  Can you tell whether he’s easy to handle?  Do you think he’s whiney, annoying, irritable?  Do you think he can be disciplined?

Oh, word.  Thanks for sharing your parenting techniques with us, Rick.  You’re clearly doing a good job there, although the fact that you’re posting to sell your own son on Craigslist is a little fishy… but nothing too out of the blue I suppose.

Anything else you want to share with us potential buyers, Rick?

Aw, how sweet.  This really shows that Rick cares.

So, after reviewing these posts more thoroughly, do you think you might want to buy Gavin??  Or would you rather just stick to shopping for used Bose headphones and perusing for summer jobs that require you to take your bra off…

Ultimately, it’s just nice to know that there are so many different things available to buy, sell, and discover on Craigslist.  And don’t forget about the “Missed connections”!

Have you always wanted eyes in the back of your head?

Well… ta da.

Or, if you’ve always wanted to be mistaken for a robot or technological mishap experiment, ta da for you too.

(via leftoversignals)

We live in the Future.

benjaminpalmer has more:

“This little box has, inside it, some kind of circuitry that harvests WiFi energy out of the air and converts it into electricity. This has been done before, but the Airnergy is able to harvest electricity with a high enough efficiency to make it practically useful: on the CES floor, they were able to charge a BlackBerry from 30% to full in about 90 minutes, using nothing but ambient WiFi signals as a power source.”

Someday I will charge my laptop with WiFi.

Someday I will power up my Funcooker™ Portable Mini-Microwave using only WiFi.

Someday I will skip breakfast and inhale some WiFi instead.

(You can click on the photo for further insight into this post-2000’s story)

Remember paper? What a joke, right?

Remember sitting at home on the couch/ottoman/old leather bucket seat, relaxing with a martini and a good book?  What a flashback.

Remember books?

Remember those relatively thick things that had covers and then pages and pages of words and written stories and text and stuff?  Remember how you would have to squint at the words sometimes because they were too small?  Remember Barnes and Noble?  Remember actually having to buy yourself the books you wanted to read by going to a bookstore?  Remember Shakespeare and Company?  What a retro useless commodity.

Remember bookshelves?

Remember having to store all those books somewhere?  Remember having to come home from IKEA with pieces to a shelving unit, and having to construct that shelving unit, and then having to put your books on it?  Remember libraries?  What on earth were we thinking?!!

Remember “get togethers”?

Remember when friends or family would come over and you would whip out that big binder filled with all the 3x5 photos from your most recent vacation?  Remember how they would actually have to be in your physical presence in order to see all your happy pictures?  Remember how they’d crowd up your living room while you worried about whether Aunt Martha was going to eat all the dip before anyone else could have some?  Remember having to physically share things with people?  Remember having to verbally interact with others?  What a big old bother.

Remember newspapers?

Remember all those pages, all that folding and unfolding, all those little black letters and printed photos and ink, ohh, the ink??  Good riddance.

Remember play dates?

Remember when in order to have fun you actually had to “invite someone over” or get mom or dad to do it for you?  Remember when you had to physically move in order to play a game?  Remember “Red Rover Red Rover”?  What bullshit.

Remember DVD’s?

Remember when you actually had to buy or rent a DVD or, heaven forbid, a Video Cassette, in order to watch your favorite movies?  Remember having to “Insert” and “Eject” formatted objects that resembled CD’s or audio tapes on steroids into “Video/DVD Players”?  Remember Video/DVD storage racks and shelves?  Remember organizing a physical library of your movies, or of anything for that matter?  It’s all so ludicrous!

Remember Calendars and Date books?

Remember having to whip out that ugly calendar thing from your purse or backpack or briefcase to “write appointments down” so you would remember them?  Remember “penciling someone in”?  Remember adding extra squiggleys to your cursive when writing “Lunch with my boyfriend” in for your hypothetical Thursday afternoon?  Remember forgetting what date it was and needing to go find a calendar hung up somewhere?  That’s SO yesteryear.

Remember Address books and Rolodexes?

Remember when you had to remember your friends and family’s phone numbers, when you had to actually “write them down” and keep them in a “safe place” near the telephone?  Remember when the “S” pages would get filled up way faster than all the other pages because you knew too many Silverstein’s, Schwartz’s, Shapiro’s?  (We’re assuming that you are Jewish / associate with lots of Jews).  Oy gevault!

Remember Art?

Remember when you had to have an easel or a piece of paper or parchment or something physical to actually draw or paint on?  Remember when you painted too much blue in one corner of the canvas and that meant that it would more or less be permanently there?  Remember getting paint and marker and crayon shavings all over your fingers and clothes?  Remember getting MESSY??  What ridiculousness, utter and complete ridiculousness!!

(FYI Apple has announced that you will be able to buy brushes separately for this iPad Paint application, but seriously)

Remember when everything in existence was not merely a virtual representation of itself?

Remember objects?  I’m starting to only remember the iPad.

Remember reality?  What a farce.

Granted, I’m sure the animals down on FarmVille/ZooWorld are a lot easier to take care of, which is why hopefully Facebook will make us realize that the next step in technological progression should be that we aught to have virtual families instead.  Or relationships that solely exist over the internet.  Oh wait that already exists doesn’t it.  Well we’re halfway there!

Now it’s easier and faster than ever to make random unnecessary purchases during rough economic times via your all-mighty can-do-anything more-powerful-than-God iPhone now that this Credit Card Reader Add-on is nearing availability.

This should additionally usher in a new era of credit card fraud, in case it wasn’t prevalent or popular enough already.

Read more about this horrifying wondrous invention here: http://www.pocket-lint.com/news/30435/iphone-gets-credit-card-reader

My pa’s pa was a farmer.  Somewhere south of Bowling Green, can’t remember exactly.

But my pa wanted more.  And the agriculture industry tanked hardcore.  So he settled us down in good ol’ Rural-burbia.

My ma made great omelets in the morn before I’d get on the bus for school.  My ma was a proud shopper at the Piggly Wiggly, but sometimes she’d go to Kroger.

But I grew up.

I learned stuff.  I watched TV and commercials and stuff, I became a global consumer and stuff.  I preached the art of “glocal” networking and social internet media and stuff.  I was spoon-fed top 40 radio but had my more sophisticated indie favorites too.  And I began caring about social issues and stuff, and eating healthier and stuff.

That’s when I realized I was different than my rural-burbia community.  I don’t wanna go to “dry events” for “hip edgy xcore teens” at the local church.  I don’t wanna vote for John McCain just cuz my parents did, even if some black people still make me nervous sometimes in certain situations.  I want to escape the mediocrity of it all.

So I’ve decided that it is finally my time.

Time to leave my 6000 person populated community and take my chances in

The Big City.

The City is where I’ll find it all.  The City is where I’ll find my place.

Where the fast-paced way of life will make me feel alive, where industry’s speed will be exhilarating, where technology will have greater meaning, where my iPhone will actually get 3G service.

I will be in a place where other people “get” me.  I will be part of a city where culture is alive, where I can experience art, entertainment, beauty, passion, wonder, awe.  The streets will be crowded, packed with excitement.  The days will be filled with sunshine and spirit.

I don’t know what I’ll do exactly, but I’ll figure it out along the way.. that’s what’s so great about the city, right?  I’ll get an office job, I’ll be proud to work for a company in a big building, with lots of little offices for so many excited employers just like me.

I am Ready for the City Life.  I am ready for Indianapolis. “I am ready, I am ready, I am ready, I am.” - Counting Crows and me

Music is Dead (except its not).  Art is Dead (except it is).  Could this be the future of bands/music?  Could the next “big hit” of 2010 come from solely a bunch of “kids” playing on their iPhones?  Is Steve Jobs the greatest murderer of culture of our time?  Can someone please help me find the redeeming quality of this video?